Evil Bitch!

I spoke too soon about it all being quiet on the Sian front.

Pete's Mum called this morning, and Sian has called her to tell them that a) I'm a Spiritualist(wrong, I'm a Pagan, duh brain!), and b) we've been looking at apostate websites. An apostate is a Jehovah's Witness who turns their back on the religion, and openly refutes their beliefs. Pete, and Ryan, aren't apostates because they've just tried their hardest to forget about it. Apostates are completely ignored, and if you associate with an apostate, you become one yourself. This is an apostate website,for example, and a Jehovah's Witness would be forbidden from looking at that. Get caught, and you get disfellowshipped. We are not JW's and therefore can look at what we like.

However, we don't have much to do with Pete's family, and Pete likes to keep the peace. They don't know I'm Pagan, they've never asked, and I wouldn't lie if they did, but I'm certainly not into Spiritualism. Sian's plan is to try and stop Pete and Ryan having contact with his family by causing a rift, because Ryan isn't talking to her. The reason this is such an evil thing for her to do, is Pete's Mum and Dad are obviously not in a good place medically or mentally to deal with this right now. They should really, by the rules of the JW's, cut us out of their lives. Just like they should have cut us out of their lives when we moved into together, and when we had a child out of wedlock. They've chosen to ignore those rules, and have got away with it because Pete's Dad is an Elder. Hypocritical, but who are we to complain? This is a really bad time, and what kind of a sick freak calls a man who almost died to spread stories about his son?

Although we'd LOVE to call her up and give her a ton of abuse, that's what she wants us to do. The best thing is to stay quietly dignified. I can almost feel her stewing at home, waiting for that call. It'll piss her off more if we do nothing. We're just going to sit tight. This was the move of a desperate woman.

Pre-School Woes

Isobel really cried at pre-school today, bless her. Her keyworker said to Pete on Friday that they often hate their second week, so she's obviously seen it happen a lot. I think reality sets in and they realise this is a permanent thing.
She wouldn't have her sleep this morning, she was yawning when I was putting her coat on at 12.30 to go, so tears were on the cards really, All the way there I was saying 'Do you want to go to school?', and she was replying 'Yes please!'. As soon as I went to unzip her coat she burst into tears! She'd stopped before I left, but they called me after about 45 minutes and said she'd been crying on and off, what did I want to do. Being the hard arse that I am I said we should let her get on with it. Evil Mummy! When I went to collect her she wasn't crying, but as soon as she saw me she started. I said 'Have you had a good time' and she went 'Yeah'. Drama queen! She took me over to see her painting that she did. It's...ummm...interesting. Apparently, according to Isobel it's a road, but to us it looks like a big brown splodge.

I've cheated on my diet this week really. I've felt so rough that I've not been able to exercise since last Wednesday. My food hasn't been terrible, but I have had the odd treat. I was struggling to shift the weight without the treats, so I'll never lose it with them. I'm not going to get disheartened though, because if I do that I'll give up. I'll just have to try harder tomorrow, now that I'm feeling a little better! I've just been invited out at the weekend too, and I've worked out that I burn 2300 calories if I dance for just 4 hours, and honestly when I go out I'm more likely to dance for 6...non stop. I just love to dance! I'm going to make sure I do my dance workout DVD tomorrow, get those muscles warmed up for the weekend.

Another weekend gone by.

Well, I had a pretty boring weekend as we decided it was better for Pete to travel down to Portsmouth alone. My Mum would only have the kids for one night, and we needed to be gone for two, so he had to go alone. His Dad is feeling better, has to stay in for lots of tests and new drugs and stuff. Pete had a stern word with him on Saturday during visiting hours as it's the work he does for the Jehovah's Witnesses that has caused this. He told his superiors a few months ago that the work was too much for him, but they just kept piling more on, and he, like a mug, kept on doing it. He handed all his secretarial roles over on Saturday afternoon(but is still, at this point, an Elder and on the Hospital Liaison Committee). Pete told him he needs to spend more time with the family, and less doing all this rubbish. It's given him a really bad scare, hopefully it's scared some common sense into him.

Pete's brother in law and sister kept saying that they pray for him to come back to the meetings(it's been about fifteen years now, give up!), and that they don't believe he wanted to really leave. Pete just laughed in their faces and told them he didn't believe any of it anymore and they are all wasting their lives. Pete just pities them, but I find it really disrespectful. Pete can't see how rude they are, because he has this jovial wall up to protect himself so he can laugh it off. Firstly, surely their Dad's health was more important at that particular time than getting Pete back into the congregation? Isn't that what they were all there for? Secondly, they never mention it when I'm there, which to me shows a total lack of respect for my wishes for our family. I'm sure they think that if they can get him back, we'll all follow quietly. Surely they must realise that if Pete came home and said 'Honey, I'm going back to the meetings', I'd be off like a shot. I don't ever, ever want that kind of guilt and hatred for others in my children's lives, not that he'd ever go back, but it's the presumptuous attitude that irks me. It's just so rude and a total disregard for ME.

I spent a lot of time in bed ill at the weekend with this damn virus. Everyone seems to have it. Headaches, nausea, sinusitis, sore throat, constant tiredness and a fever. The trouble is, I feel better for two days and it comes back. I've had it for three weeks now. :(

We still haven't heard anything from Sian, it's been lovely and quiet. Ryan seems so much happier, although he said he does feel guilty sometimes about it. She should be the one feeling guilty, he's done the right thing. If she'd been a good parent it wouldn't have gotten to this stage. I took both the boys to football training on the bus on Saturday as Pete wasn't here. The mud on the pitches was unbelievable! We all got covered and the pushchair got stuck so I had to drag it rather than push.

Oh well, I'd better go and do the housework while I can!

Not a good day already...

... and it's only 10am. Pete just called me to let me know that his Dad has had a heart attack and is in the hospital. He's stable but it's not looking good. He's going to go down there tonight and stay over, not that there is much he can do apart from look after his Mum. Pete's Dad is her carer as she has a severe mental illness, although it's pretty much under control, so she needs help too. I'm probably leaving the kids with my Mum and going with him.

The thing is, Pete's Dad is an Elder of the Jehovah's Witnesses, so if he needs surgery he won't be accepting blood. There is probably no way he's going to accept it, but I do hope he is thinking about it. Maybe this will shake his faith in the doctrines?

I'm not ready for another funeral. :*(

Winter Sunset

I took this tonight whilst cooking dinner, isn't it pretty? It makes me feel cold looking at it though!

Let it snow

Well, it's a good job I didn't plant out any of my potatoes, onions or seeds yet, as we woke up to this today;

I love snow, shame it didn't last for long. It was gone before lunch.

Isobel enjoyed her day at pre school. Apparently she got a bit wobbly halfway through, probably through tiredness, and the bottom lip came out a few times. That evening, she was exhausted. She threw a massive tantrum because I dared to take her tights off, then threw herself to the ground and headbutted the floor. The little pickle!

I have decided to make my tiara for the wedding. I know I can do it, I've made them before, and I know what I want and where to get the materials from, so why shouldn't I? I can't wait to start, I'm just pricing up the beads and crystals now.

All grown up

I just dropped Isobel off at pre school for the first time. She's been going on and on about it for days now, she was so excited. Pete came home for lunch early so he could come with us, he's being really soppy about his little girl growing up. Bless!

She went in, hung up her coat, said hello to her keyworker Chris, and Pete took her in while I paid. When I went in she was sat at a table playing with blocks, when we said goodbye she just went 'Ok, bye'. No fuss at all, just the same as Taylor on his first day. I hope she's enjoying herself. I'm leaving to get her in 35 minutes, so I'm sure I'll hear all about it.




Yesterday, Sam & Harvey came over to see us. We had a good chat, all the kids had fun, and Harvey cried when they left as he wanted to stay. Isobel kept asking where James was(Harvey's Dad) as he came over last week. I think she was a bit confused.

Taylor was off school yesterday with a sickness bug, and now Ryan is off today with the Sinusitis that I had last week, so all in all we are a sickly house at the moment. I spent the night downstairs with Taylor while he was being sick the other night, so I'm still trying to catch up with the sleep I lost.

Lastly, here is a random photo of Taylor the Toothless Wonder:

Just to let you know...

...I've had to turn the moderation of my comments on as I've started getting bloody spam! I will publish everyone elses comments though, so please still leave them for me.

Digging

I've been working hard in the garden with Isobel this morning, getting the raised bed in place then filling it. I've measured the depth of the bed and it is about 12 inches, so that should be plenty deep enough. I also started chitting my potatoes last night. They're on top of the wardrobe in an open egg box, in our room. It's the only room with no heating, and we have no shed either.

Here is the finished bed. I want it to be full of seedlings NOW! I'm so impatient.




Ryan's football team won their game this morning, so his team are still top of their league. They should be getting promoted as Champions in a few more games. I think they only have two left. I might go and make some cards this afternoon, I'm feeling a bit restless but don't know what to do with myself. It's such a lovely day, seems a shame to be stuck indoors.

What have I been up to this week...

...well, it's dragged BIG TIME. I've got quite a lot done, but now we're half way through the weekend already.

On Wednesday evening I met Lara at The Lotus Rooms, which is a little salon in Wickford. Lara got me a voucher for a relaxation treatment months ago, but being so busy I hadn't had a chance to get up there. I had a back massage and head massage, it was lovely.

Thursday and Friday at work were the usual really. I fell asleep at 6pm on Thursday as I was so tired.

Today Taylor's football was cancelled, but Ryan still had training. Ryan has another team after him, but we won't let him make any decisions until the end of the season. Then Pete took the boys swimming or a few hours. I didn't want to go as I'm full of cold, so Isobel had to miss out too. Pete had his hands full teaching Taylor to swim, so he wouldn't of been able to look after her too.

I had to go into town today to buy new school uniforms for the boys, but ended up getting loads of bargains for the garden too. I got my log roll edging for my raised beds for £6. I was going to pay £15 for it online so I was pleased with that. I've got all my seeds & onion sets today too.
I got 75 Stuttgarter Giant onion sets for 99p, and Parsley, Rocket, Sunflower, Musselburgh Leek, Parsnip, Mixed Lettuce and Spring Onion seeds for £3.50. Bargain! I'm out in the garden tomorrow building the rest of the bed, so I need to pop out for more compost too. I just hope it doesn't rain tomorrow as I'm really looking forward to getting out there.

Getting fitter(slowly)

It's bloody hard work, this exercising lark! I'm hating every minute of the lettuce, drinking lots of water and daily exercising, but after three long weeks it's finally starting to show. I've lost 4 pounds this week, my clothes are looser and I feel fitter. It's about time! I've got the worlds most fun but exhausting fitness video too. Its a club dancing one, so I love the music, and the dance moves, but I can only manage 45 minutes before it kills me.

We had a lovely day today, as James and his son Harvey came over for a surprise visit. James had a builder in and the drilling was driving them crazy, so they popped in for a couple of hours. Wendy, my next door neighbor, popped in for a cuppa too, very sociable day all in all.

I've dug the vegetable patch this week, I've made it about a foot longer, and dug the compost in. The soil left from last years was pretty good anyway. I've also built a small bed from a heavy duty cardboard container with some drainage holes in it. The lettuce is going in there. I'm growing 4 pots of potatoes, rather than in the ground, as I don't have the space. We've decided to grow rocket, lettuce, parsnips, leeks, onions, spring onions, tomatoes and potatoes. I'd love to grow more but can't take on too much at once.





Here is a little plan of what it should look like by the summer, it enlarges if you click on it. Yes, I am sad, but any other veg growers out there will know you need to plan your space. :) I just can't wait to get started now, roll on March when it all kicks off.

Tea Party

These are just some pictures from Jake and Isobel's little Tea Party we had the other day. We were bored and it was raining so we stayed in and ate munchies. That's our excuse and we're sticking to it!

Whew!

Well, the good news is I did a test on Friday and it was negative, then my period showed up today. Although I'd happily have another baby, I'd love to, I would quite like to get married first. Can you imagine telling all those people that had booked that holiday to attend our wedding, that we couldn't go? It would've been awful. I've been reliably informed that the exercise is probably what messed up my cycle, as I've gone from nothing to 30 minutes a day. It's a shock to the system, trust me. I don't blame my body for going on strike.

I did a trip to a craft exhibition on Thursday, and spent some hard earned pennies on some stuff for my craft box. I need to make some more cards as the supply is dwindling down.

Last night was my friend Jane's birthday, so we went to her house with another couple and got a Chinese takeaway to celebrate. Taylor and Isobel stayed at my Mums, but Ryan came with us, and promptly fell asleep. We played Buzz, and I kept winning, which I hate. I haven't got a competitive bone in my body. I know it sounds really sad, all my friends take the piss when I say it, but I hate winning! I don't mind being the centre of attention in many other ways, but winning isn't one of them. It's the same feeling as opening presents with people watching me, I find it uncomfortable. We sneaked of at 1am and left Ryan there, so we had the house to ourselves. No prizes for guessing what we got up to.

Pete and I went food shopping and to the Garden Centre(how very suburban! HaHaHa!) to pick up my seed potato's today. I'm so excited about planting them, but I have to wait for another 5 weeks yet. I'll start sprouting them in a little while. I didn't want a huge bag full as I'm only doing a few tubs, so I was pleased to find a bag of ten for £1.69.

We all sat down together and played Uno for a couple of hours tonight, Taylor thrashed us all loads of times. The boys and Pete all have football tomorrow so Isobel will be 'helping' me dig the garden, if it doesn't rain.

Sod it, if it rains, we'll dig it anyway!

In a bit of a pickle

This is about womens stuff, so any squeamish men look away now.

My period is late. Very late, 12 days to be exact.

That's pretty late.

I realised on Monday that it hadn't arrived yet. I'd got caught up with all the festivities of Christmas and hadn't noticed. So I got out my diary, worked it out, and there you have it. Panic stations.

Normally this would be a shock, but still a joyous occasion. This is soooo not the right time. Pete just laughed maniacally when we talked about it.

Despite me wanting another baby, this is not good, because I won't be able to get married.

I worked out that if I am, we'll fly back when I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and the airline don't let you fly after 32 weeks. We can't cancel really as loads of our friends have booked to come with us. So that'll be me staying at home.

We don't really think that I am as my usual stuff hasn't shown up yet. I get dizzy spells and milk cravings really early on. I have been weeing a lot, but have I only noticed it because my period is late? Psychosomatic symptoms anyone?

If Pete remembers to buy a test for me tonight while he's out(which he won't), hopefully I'll be posting with good news tomorrow. Although I'd be quite happy for this to happen in 6 months time, please not now! PLEASE!

Crazy hair

I swear, it gets bigger everyday. It's wild!













































I took Isobel to have a nose around her pre school today. She seemed to like it, and has been going on about 'Isobel's School' ever since to everyone. Hopefully she'll be doing two afternoons a week in the next few weeks, I just have to wait for their phone call as they have a space for her.

She isn't our baby anymore...boooooooooooo! :(

Not much going on

As a surprise, Pete booked tickets for today's FA Cup match at Portsmouth. We thought it'd be a nice treat for Ryan's birthday. They had no idea. Pete got them both up at 8.30am and said 'Right, get dressed, we going to the football'. Both boys looked at each other and went 'Huh?'. I've never seen them so excited! They are playing Wigan, it kicked off 45 minutes ago and it looks like being 0-0 so far. I hope they win. They're also going to the Pompey shop to buy kits afterwards.

I went back to work on Thursday, which sucks after a fortnight off, but the two days went quickly. I have a trip to the Sandown Craft Exhibition next Thursday, which I did last year and swore I'd never do it again. I love crafty stuff, I paint and make cards, and this place is hell unless you have at least £50 to spend. I'll have exactly a fiver. Boo!!!

I took these pictures of Isobel with wet curls today, just after her bath.

Oh Crap

We're preparing for tears from Taylor here, as it looks like Nanny Farm's budgie is on it's last legs. Snowy keeps gagging and having mini fits, almost like a Tourettes sufferer, and is puffed up and sickly looking. I only give it a few hours really. I guess it's old age as they don't live that long. I've warned Taylor that it's going to happen and he didn't look pleased.
The whole grief thing over his Nan is going to kick in again, as it's all we have left of her. I'm trying to keep her fluids up but I don't hold out much hope. :(


UPDATE: Since my last entry I force fed Snowy some water(she wasn't happy about THAT!), and she's perked up a bit.

Sian called, I answered, and said I thought Ryan had just left(they were putting their shoes on to go out), but I didn't think he wanted to speak to her. Ryan came to the phone and said very clearly and concisely that he didn't want to talk to her, she'd really upset him on the holiday, and he wanted to be left alone. She said fine and put down the phone, and that was that. He felt guilty for a while, but relieved too. He seems fine now, and soon ran off to play football. I wonder if this is it?

Time for the vegetable garden.

Last year was a dry run. I grew(successfully!) Spring Onions, Beetroot, Carrots and tons of Tomatoes. The Broccoli was enjoyed by the entire Essex population of Cabbage White Butterflies, who decided to have an orgy on my leaves and produce millions of hungry babies. I gave up fighting them in August and handed the Broccoli back over to Mother Nature.

This year I'm terrified. I'm no longer a beginner. I should know what I'm doing.
I don't.

I have decided on one variety of tomato. I grew ordinary salad tomatoes, plum and cherry last year and the cherry toms were divine. I'm going to stick with them this year. I'm also going to grow Spring Onion again(easy peasy!), Leeks, Onions, Lettuce, Potatoes and a couple of Swedes and Cauliflowers.

So I'm working out what needs doing in what months, and I've realised I'm already behind. I haven't bought my spuds yet, and they need sprouting at the end of January. I also need to dig over and fertilise the vegetable patch, and enlarge it. It needs to be double the size. I'm also worrying about what to do when we go away in August. Two weeks is a long time, I can't expect friends or neighbors to look after the plants for two weeks, especially not at the busiest time for harvesting. Can you hire people, like you do to cat or dog sit, but to plant sit?

New Years Photos

Harry and Taylor

















Every photo of Pete and I had someone else's head in it!

















Ryan looking sheepish with his 'ex' girlfriend.





















Everyone saying Happy New Year!

















Wendy and I with pigtails. I can't actually remember why we did them, but they seemed like a good idea at 2am.
















So, it was OK last night. I ended up enjoying myself, but still I couldn't really be arsed. The boys love it though, party animals! At one point there was a row of eight boys all sat playing on handheld consoles. Taylor is surgically attached to his new Nintendo DS.

It's been a funny old year, what with losing my Nan in the summer and Lisa a few weeks ago. I'm looking forward to 2007 and the wedding, but we've got a lot of saving and a lot of dieting to do before then.

We've got exercise equipment now to help us achieve one of those goals, which should be fun(Not!) I've been enjoying going on the exercise bike with my new MP3 player on, but the kids keep laughing at my singing.

I think Ryan has decided to not speak to his Mum. He asked me to change our phone number yesterday. I'll have to think about that. Of course, he may change his mind in a month or so, and that's up to him. For now I'll just have to field all the calls and take the abuse. She's really done it this time, he's so upset with her.

Ah well, lets hope this year is better than the last.