My Nan died :(

I got a call from Pete in work today, as the police had gone to my Mums work and told her. She then called Pete in hysterics. I made sure I went to the flat with my Mum and her brother Steven, as I'm pretty level headed in a crisis and my Mum just panics. The poor lady next door found her. She was last seen alive by Steven on Monday, but she must have fallen out of bed and she couldn't get up. She just reached for a pillow and curled up on the floor. They didn't find her until this morning. She could've been there for a few days.

I'm just so sad. I know a lot of families don't do a very good job of caring for their elders, but we did, and this still happened. We were always checking up on her, and my Mum used to take Isobel and Taylor up there to stay twice a month. Steven visits twice a week. Some elderly people get no visits from anyone at all, so why did this have to happen to her?
I went to the flat with them, they'd already taken her away, but the pillow was still on the floor. I just sat there for a while and cried. My Mum had to call Victor, the other brother, in Australia. He's flying in this weekend. My Mum and Steven were just too upset, so I had to call the coroner, the undertakers, cancel all her amenities, and call some of her friends.

We haven't told the children yet, they've gone to a cricket match with Pete tonight and I didn't want to spoil it for them. How on earth am I going to tell them? She was such a massive part of their lives. Isobel was asking about Nanny Farm today, it just upsets me so much that she won't remember her when she grows up.
She was such a sweet kind old soul, and she adored Pete and the children. I was her first grandchild, and the only one for such a long time, that I was a bit spoilt as a child.

I keep wondering how long she laid there. Was she scared? Did she know she was dying? Did she think about us and the kids? When my grandad died I was upset, but I'm involved this time, you know? I'm an adult, it's my responsibility.

Rest in Peace Peggy.