Nearly finished baking this baby

Now that the birth of the next addition is imminent(two weeks to go!), I'm really missing my Nan. It's times like this when you really notice the hole that they leave behind. She'd been really involved with the pregnancies, births and childhoods of the other children, so to not have her here feels weird. She was always the first person on the list of people to call with the news when they'd finally made their way into the world. It makes me sad that Kit is never going to know her. We are incredibly lucky that Isobel remembers so much about her, as she was only two and a half when she died. I think most children would've forgotten, but Isobel has the memory of an elephant, like me. She talks about her a lot, and gets the photo albums out to look through at least once a week.

On another family related note, I felt a bit sorry for Ryan this morning. Isobel touched a raw nerve I think, you know how children have a funny way of saying things the way they see it. Isobel has been asking lots of questions lately about our family, and with lots of step parents, half siblings, and hundreds of grandparents, it can get a bit confusing. Trying to explain to her that I'm not Ryan's real Mum, and her Dad isn't Taylor's real Dad, but that we are both her real parents, can get a bit much for her to take in. She seems to be asking me about it a lot lately, probably because of the arrival of a new sibling.

This morning she said "Ryan, your Mum is nasty, that's why you live here with us". Yikes! What do you say to that. Ryan just went "Huh, even a four year old knows what she's like".

She is being particularly horrible to him at the moment too, ignoring his phone calls and stuff, so Isobel must have picked up on it. It made me very sad. :(

Anyway, I must get out and finish the garden while the sun is shining. :)

Garden prep

I've been trying to get out in the garden for about a fortnight, but what with my course project(a disaster from start to almost-finish) and half term, I haven't had a chance. I finally got out there today, and I have no idea how I managed it as I can barely even reach the floor now, but I got one of the beds cleared of weeds, composted and fertilised, and I've put some polythene over it to keep the cat off. I must get it done this month as the spuds and onions need to go out in the next few weeks, and nothing will grow if I don't fertilise it now. Only another two beds to go. They'll probably take me another fortnight.

We've been swimming, to the park, to a play centre, and had a nice overnight stay at the hospital with Taylor too, so a busy school holiday. Taylor went over his bike handlebars on Friday afternoon and had concussion, and as he couldn't stop being sick they put him on a drip and kept us in overnight. Sleeping on a fold-out camp bed at this stage in pregnancy was not fun at all, I could barely put one foot in front of the other last night when I got home. I was so stiff.

My pram has arrived, and it is beautiful. It's the nicest one I've ever had, it's just so well designed. You can tell it's German, every little knob and lever has a very important job to do, but it's all so simple. The blasted cat keeps sleeping in it though, I keep shooing her out and frightening her, hopefully it'll sink in before the baby arrives.

I had a midwife appointment on Friday morning and baby is almost fully engaged(not that this means anything with 2nd babies onwards - he could still drift back out of position), and I'm getting cramps and tightenings pretty much all the time now. I can't walk anywhere without getting contractions, which I never had with the other two.
Just as I thought he's posterior like the others were, which means he's face up instead of face down and it's supposed to mean a long, painful labour. I seem to grow them this way though and thankfully so far have had nice easy labours. I'm just a freak of nature. He does favour a slight turn to the side which my others never did. Maybe he'll turn the correct way in labour. At this point, having birthed two posterior face up babies with no trouble I'd be happier for him to stay that way. At least I know what I'm dealing with.

She also said she thinks he's 7lbs already(yeah right!), so I'm on target for a monster baby...even though my belly is still two weeks smaller than it should be. It's a good job I pay no attention to her whatsoever. Why do they even bother trying to guess the size? Here I am last week, at 36 weeks;

Isobel

I just took these pictures of Isobel today. We've been lazing around enjoying half term.



We are all so excited to see what Kit looks like. I think he'll look a lot like Isobel, he certainly looked like her on the scan. She wasn't the best looking baby(they never are, but you can't see it at the time), had sort of grown up features, but she's certainly grown into them now. When you are pregnant you try and picture and imagine your child, but you never expect them to end up as beautiful as she is.

No more work!

I'm feeling very calm and zen like today, which compared to the last few days is an improvement. I finished work on Friday, they gave me a lovely send off with balloons and a collection, which has paid for the pram which is hopefully winging it's way to me right now. I fully intend to try and relax these last few days - easier said than done.

I'm doing a team project as part of my OU course at the moment, it lasts for two weeks and we are in week two. From a team of six, only three of us are doing the work. The rest are AWOL. We have to do web research on care topics and write a report as a team, with me chivvying everybody along, answering questions, and compiling the final report because I'm the team leader. One of the women on the team, whom I have actually met(lovely lady), barely speaks/writes a word of English. She messages me daily asking me how to do each section, which is all there already on the project website in plain language. I have to hand-hold her through it every day. I have no idea how she is a) even doing the course, or b) writing the essays. How is the tutor even marking them? Her messages are gibberish. These things are sent to try us I guess.
Yesterday, one of the missing team members decided she'd quite like to join in now, halfway through, when I've divided up the report writing roles and we are muddling through just fine without her. In fact, her joining in now would put us back by about 4 days while we waited for her to catch up, and that's if she even put the commitment in and actually bothered. I may have blown my top in an email to our tutor, basically saying the team member can bugger off. I don't want her joining in. Apparently she had a chest infection. I don't give a damn. I'm 37 weeks pregnant, have been working, feel like a complete invalid who can now barely get out of bed because of my hips/back, and I've still managed to do the work with 3 children hassling me. It's not a good enough excuse I'm afraid.

*breathes*

I had a lovely valentines day, I took Pete out on Friday with some spare money I'd put aside, first time I think I've paid for dinner in our 9 years together. It was a novelty. Then on Saturday we packed the kids off to bed early and had a nice dinner alone with some wine and a baileys cheesecake. My whole world revolves around sleep and food these days!

Happy 10th Birthday Taylor!

I can't believe how grown up my baby boy is now *sobs*, he's only a year off going to senior school. Where has the time gone? This time a decade ago I was in that glowy just-had-a-baby haze that you get that lasts for a few days. I can't imagine him ever being that small and helpless.













Bless him, he was so cute!

We had a little party yesterday, just a few friends and family members and his girlfriend Molly. I can't believe it's all over and done with now, because that means the next thing on the calendar is Kit being born. A scary thought indeed. I counted earlier today, I think it's 34 days until my due date.

Don't be fooled by the cute...

...I had to bribe her with the promise of an ice cream cone after dinner just to get her to even smile.