Thursday, June 01, 2006


I don't think I've ever mentioned the huge back story on here, but my stepson Ryan came to live with us full time last October. I won't bore you too much with the details, but his Mum and stepdad had been emotionally, and as a final straw, physically abusing him. They are also Jehovahs Witnesses and as a general consensus they aren't the most caring parents. It's a case of do as I say or be disfellowshipped and treated as dead. The whole religion is based on guilt, fear, and terror of being cast out, even at Ryan's age. He knew he wanted to live here years before the final showdown in October, but there wasn't much we could do. Anyway, Ryan was sending us suicidal texts, and when he came down to stay he had marks on him where he'd been hit. Pete has equal parental rights as they were married when he was born, so we called her up and said he wasn't coming home. She refused to send his stuff, and hasn't paid a penny in maintenance(we'd been paying her £600 a month at one point).

Since then it's been fight after fight to keep him safe. He was terrified of seeing her, Social Services were useless, and every time she phoned he'd cry and not sleep for days. We finally got him some counseling, which he's been at for a few months, and he's a changed boy. A few months back we said we'd take him to the Isle of Wight to visit for a day but she went mad saying it was to be for a week or nothing. They also said weweren'tt allowed on the island, which made us suspicious. He didn't want to go, it all kicked off, and we stopped him from going at his head teachers advice(he broke down in school).

Thanks to the counseling he can finally stick up for himself on the phone to her without her shouting him down with her threats of Armageddon, so he feels ready to see her. We arranged a day trip down to Portsmouth(NOT the Isle of Wight!) as he feels safer meeting her on neutral territory. It was all agreed weeks ago. We don't HAVE to do this at all, she never helped us to travel the 13 hour drive to North Wales when he lived with her. In fact she was downright difficult. We are doing this journey down for him, not her. Anyway, she called up last night shouting and screaming saying it had to be the Isle of Wight or nothing, and that she'd never beaten him up and it was all lies. Why she had to do this at the last minute I'll never know. Ryan told her to speak normally or he'd hang up, so he did!

He called her tonight and arranged to meet her in Portsmouth as agreed or not at all and she agreed. I was hoping she'd freak again so he wouldn't have to go, but it's going ahead and I'm going to be worried sick about him. I can't even go with them as I have work. She is either going to give him a hard time, or she'll make him feel so guilty that all the work we've done with him will be back to square one. Worse case scenario is she'll run off with him. We've told him to take his mobile, and walk away if she even starts in the slightest. Pete will be down there with him in another part of town in case anything happens. I feel like this is it, he's never coming back here with us, she's going to do something stupid. Argghhh..It'ss so stressful!

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