My Crazy Family

Haircut!

2011-07-16T10:18:00.002+01:00

I finally talked Taylor into a haircut. He's been growing it for a year, and it was so long and floppy that one half of his face was totally covered and pure white, and the other side tanned and freckly. Frankly, he looked like an idiot!

Before

After - he looks like a different child!

Fish

2011-07-06T19:46:00.000+01:00

I know it's a bit sad, but a few weeks ago I decided to fulfil a life long dream of setting up a tropical aquarium. Having always kept coldwater fish I had no idea just how bloody complicated it was! Pete always said that they were too much hard work, and that I shouldn't get one, but I can do what I like now so took the plunge. I have to say he was right!
Now that it is set up and the water cycle is ok, it should be fine, but for a while there it was pretty confusing. You have to introduce bacteria into the water, which also has to be dechlorinated, and this can take weeks. The bacteria feed on the ammonia produced by the fish waste, and turn it into nitrates. The bacteria need ammonia to survive, and the only way to produce this is to have fish living in the dangerously toxic water, so it is a tricky time. You can do it slowly without fish, but I was lucky enough to have a dirty, yucky mini filter that had been running in my daughters tank, full of that lovely bacteria, so I popped that in there and the tank was ready within a week. I now have Guppies, Platies and Danios in there. In a week or so I can introduce some Corys and Tetras.

I also bought Isobel some new fancy goldfish for her small tank. This one looks just like Hitler, though one of my friends said he looked more like Freddie Mercury.

June

2011-06-28T12:56:00.005+01:00

Thought I'd better do a huge June update, seeing as I haven't been able to do one for well over a month!

I went to a friends wedding right at the beggining of June. I met Molly online about 6 years ago, when she was pregnant with her daughter Betsy, and my Isobel was just a baby. We are part of a huge group on Facebook, where we all chat and generally cause mischief, so loads of us 'imaginary friends' went to her wedding.

Our friend Anna, in the red top, took the wedding photos, and Molly looked stunning!

I got to stay on Nick, the guy in one of the photos, house boat on the Thames. We all stayed over, drank far too much, and crawled to a local cafe for a fry up the next day. Staying on the boat was the highlight of the weekend, it was brilliant, and Nick was a great host. However, the sound of Coots screeching outside your window as they bob up and down on the water is not an attractive sound when you've drank your own bodyweight in vodka and had 3 hours sleep.

At the end of May, Isobel went to Sony in London with her friend jake, and they got to test a new super secret PS3 game, and got paid for it! Isobel decided to spend her hard earned pennies on some guinea pigs, so Pete and I gave her some more money towards it to buy a hutch, and now we have these cute little guys, Godwin & Arthur:

The weather has been a bit touch and go the rest of the month, so we've either been stuck indoors, or making a mad dash to the local park before it rains again, then a mad dash home when it does!

7th Birthday

2011-05-26T12:56:00.000+01:00

I'd promised Isobel that we'd take her to a local wildlife park/butterfly farm for her birthday months and months ago, but with the expense of the house move we'd been unable to book it, and when the time came it was fully booked, so I had to find something fast and plan a party at home in a week. Mad panics ensued and I called every animal encounters party in the south of the country, and somehow found one with a space on the Sunday afternoon.

The whole thing was brilliant, a seriously great idea for a kids birthday, worth every penny!

Nights out

2011-05-19T14:05:00.000+01:00

I've been very lucky recently and have lots of fantastic nights out with my lovely friends, who have rallied round me and kept me busy. I went to the Lightbox nightclub in Vauxhall, London, for my friend Emma's birthday. It is a seriously beautiful venue, covered in millions of undulating coloured LED lights. It was very pretty!

Then a week later, with barely time in between to recover, I met up with friends I don't get to see very often, and some I've only known online, and went to Pacha and stayed in a hotel in London.

Both nights out were exactly what I needed to take my mind off everything, it's been a tough couple of months and it was lovely to forget it all and let my hair down.

The Big Move

2011-05-04T10:55:00.004+01:00

Well, that was stressful. I don't ever want to do that again. Eurgh!

The whole thing was so tiring though, and Kit didn't sleep the first two nights. He has refused to sleep in his cot(the one I wasted an hour rebuilding), so he's had a big transition of new house AND moving into a big boys bed. Think it was all a bit too much for him and he kept getting in bed with me, but we cracked it last night and he stayed in his room all night. :)

I've been doing really well emotionally, until Pete and I had a massive row yesterday whilst cleaning the old house, and ended up sobbing on each other, which sucked.

All in all the house is fabulous though, it feels more like home every day that passes, and looking out of those back windows out on that view makes it all worthwhile.

My room

Kit was up at 5am. Yikes!

Taylor's room

Bel & Kit's room

Moving

2011-04-29T00:29:00.003+01:00

So, a lot has been happening here. I didn't want to post about this before in case it didn't happen. I started looking at houses in the town we were planning on moving to anyway, Taylor goes to school there and I work there, so it was always in 'the plan'. All the letting agents wanted ridiculous admin fees, and a friend suggested I look on Gumtree for a private listing. The first place I saw in the search, in fact the only house in that town that came up, looked good, so I started emailing back and forth with the landlords. I went to view the house about 3 weeks ago, but they wanted a deposit that I just didn't have, and I cried all the way home on my bike(which was fun), because I knew it was 'the house'. I called my Dad; and told him that we'd split up, and he wasn't interested at all. I was, and still am, so upset with him. I'm his only daughter, his only child, and he couldn't even lend me £1500. So, I spent the whole weekend crying about it, I was just distraught.

Without wanting to sound like a complete nutter, I dreamt of this house, and knew it was mine. For quite a few years as a child, between the ages of about 6 and 13, I had reoccurring dreams 2-3 times a year, and they always started in a garden that backed onto fields, with a river, and poplar and willow trees lining the banks. The dreams have cropped up a few times in my day to day adult life, but never as obviously as this. I had to find a way to live there.

I went into work the next day, secured a loan for half the money from a dodgy company, and my work promised to do me a wages advance for the rest, so I called the landlord and told them I wanted it. I then spent a week on edge waiting for the tenant checks to come back ok. It was the longest week of my life!
To cut a very long story short, I am now here, in my final days in this house, that has been my home for 11 years. There have been some problems with securing that last bit of money this week, and wonderful family and friends have helped me out, and now the deposit is paid. I am moving in a days time, to the house in my childhood dreams. I think the little girl I was in the dreams wasn't me, it was Isobel. I was seeing the garden through her eyes.

Eleven Years

2011-03-27T22:56:00.005+01:00

Eleven years is a very long time. I don't think I'd noticed before. The years just seemed to rush by, one moulding into the next. Each year bringing with it such gradual changes that I barely noticed them. Life is a pretty fluid thing.

It's only now that Pete and I have decided to split up, and I'm reflecting on all the things we've done, and the places we've been, that eleven years seems like an eternity. We have seen so much, alone and with the children, in those eleven years, that it doesn't seem possible to carry on breathing and seeing the world without my best friend by my side.

I'm having to look back through old photos to help Taylor with his homework, he has to make a slide show of his life, and each photo is like a punch in the stomach. I just feel sick. That photo up there was taken about a month after we met. Sadly I don't think I'll ever be able to look at them and smile again. I just was never perfect enough.

The Invitation by Oriah

2011-03-27T00:49:00.004Z

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming

Kit is two!

2011-03-20T22:08:00.002Z

Kit had his second birthday this weekend, and he was a mixture of crazy and charming as always! We didn't throw him a party as he doesn't really have any friends so didn't see the point. He was happy to just have some new toys I think.

Second lesson

2011-02-26T21:42:00.000Z

Isobel had her second riding lesson at the end of February. She's only going once a month at the moment, so I don't suppose she is going to progress too much in between, but she does practice on Bono her rocking horse at home!

Half Term

2011-02-24T23:36:00.002Z

How can it possibly be the holidays? Surely they've only just gone back to school?

We haven't done a huge amount with the children, in fact I've felt quite sorry for them as Pete has been cracking the whip and making them de-clutter and clean when he's at home with them and I'm at work. Poor little souls! I took them to the indoor play one day, which was a good thing as it rained from the minute the sun came up to the minute it went down. We walked the 20 minutes there and back so were slightly damp from our travels. Taylor also went to a special holiday karting session today, his second this month, that he saved his birthday money and paid for himself. He was competing against 8 other boys his age, and won the time trial session. No surprise really as he drives like a lunatic.

I finally have a new full time job, I start in a week and I'm very excited about it! It's been tough these last few months to keep our heads above water. Today we have been a bit spend happy in celebration of me getting the new job, and have finally bought a new TV. We've been without a proper TV since the summer, after our big monstrosity inconveniently exploded. It hasn't bothered me too much but all the other family members are total telly addicts. We almost broke all our own rules and got one on credit, but held firm and walked away. We were glad we did once we'd had a look in Tesco on the off-chance, as we got a real bargain. I had quite a lot of vouchers to spend that I'd been saving up, so we got a Sony 40" LCD for £150 cash. Excellent! I also have a nice shiny new moped winging its way to me as we speak...well, once the new plates are released the first week in March. I cant wait to get back on the road and have a bit of independence.

Happy Birthday Taylor!

2011-02-08T09:15:00.006Z

Blimey, twelve years old! Not that you'd think it, he looks and acts like a 14 year old. How can he have gone from this cute little thing:

To this great big monster?

He is 5ft5 and wears a size 8 shoe. Yikes!

Horseriding

2011-02-05T19:42:00.001Z

Poor Isobel has never had a hobby because we've spent every spare minute and penny on football for the male members of the family for the last few years. We told her she could have a some money to choose a hobby, and with a little gentle persuasion from me she chose horseriding. It's a family tradition, we've all learnt to ride at some point.

Finding a good riding school here is tricky, they all seem so snooty and unfriendly when you look around, it is very offputting. I remember it being the same when I was a kid, when you found a good yard you stuck with it! We had a look round one just outside Wickford and it was just perfect, there were kids running around everywhere helping, and the owner was really approachable.

She had her first one last weekend and she loved it. She was a real natural, and was trotting round like a pro, and even did a little bit off the lead rein. We were all very impressed! My Mum has bought her a hat, jodhpurs and gloves ready for next time.

Bloody Ebay!

2011-02-01T12:21:00.001Z

The people on there get right on my nerves. Our massive new-ish plasma TV broke in the summer last year, we couldn't afford to fix it so it has just sat there mocking us blankly ever since. I listed it on Ebay for 99p, and someone won it for about £55. They mucked us about for two weeks, sending messages about collecting it, then no one would bother, so in the end I had to open an unpaid item thingamijig. It all worked out fine in the end as I relisted it and got £65 cash for it, but it annoyed me that there is now no way to give that dodgy buyer negative feedback, so they can just go on messing sellers around. Buggers. I had the same thing happen when I sold my moped on there.

Go karting

2011-01-10T10:58:00.003Z

Taylor had go karting vouchers for christmas from my Mum, and he nagged us like mad to take him as soon as the holidays were over, and we finally relented the first week in January. Thankfully the track is indoors, but it is still bloody freezing!
Kit enjoys watching the karts though, anything with wheels and he is happy.

Happy 2011!

2011-01-01T12:31:00.004Z

I am keeping my fingers very tightly crossed that this year will be better. We seem to have one good year, then one bad year. We are due a good one, so I hope the pattern follows. Of course, that means that this time next year I'll have a terrible one to look forward to!

We went to a party at a friends for New Years Eve. We took Kit with us and put him to bed in his travel cot, and he was a massive pain in the rear and we had to take it in turns to sit with him for a while. Our friends 8 month old was also there, and he went straight to sleep. Maybe Archie can give Kit sleeping lessons.

We have loads to get done this year, and what better time to take stock of it all than the first day. We have so much to do in the house to finish it, and as soon as we do stuff, new things break or blow up. We still have the floor to lay in the living room, skirting and coving to put up, painting the whole of the downstairs, swapping bedrooms around, and recarpeting the upstairs. I just wish I could wake up and it was all done! We are both at risk of losing our jobs, again, so are desperately searching for more work without much luck, and of course we cant decorate with no money. We are plodding through it all slowly though.

Portraits

2010-12-29T11:53:00.002Z

We had a little bit of nice daylight, for a change, so I took some new pictures of the youngest two. My camera isn't good at this time of year really, it hates the dreary weather.

Christmas Day

2010-12-28T10:16:00.006Z

We had a lovely Christmas day. Normally I get up at 5am to put the giant turkey on, then kids get up early and open their sacks from Santa. This year we all had a lovely lay in until about 8am, then sacks got opened in a frenzy. Normally I would spend the next 5 hours out in the kitchen preparing for the whole family to descend on us, except this year I had gone on strike...we were going to our friends Sam & Russ for dinner instead.

Sack presents!

The HUGE pile of presents at our friends

Can you see the resemblance? :)

Beautiful baby Willow

Russ and all the children waiting patiently for dinner.

Isobel playing Harvey's new guitar

Crazy present opening. We used a lot of bin bags.

I still helped with the cooking, but it was nice not to have the stress of doing it all alone. It was a very chilled out day with lovely grub and good friends. I'm doing dinner at home again next year, which I'm going to hate after having such a wonderful relaxing time this year.

Oh well, that is that then

2010-11-29T08:20:00.000Z

Ryan had been staying with friends and popping in and out for stuff, he told Pete that he wanted to come round at 4.30 on Monday for a chat, and when he got here he sat down and the first thing out of his mouth was "What do you want me to say?" Arrogant to the last.

He totally denied calling me a cunt in front of the other kids on Friday night, won't admit that his aggressive behaviour is wrong, refuses to back down and will not agree to treat us with respect, so Pete has told him he can't come back.

I wanted him to stay, but Pete went nuts at his total arrogance and refusal to back down. We can't live like that anymore. His Mum, who he can't stand, is coming to get him at 10.30pm. That is the first time she's come to get him in 5 years. I told her to enjoy him teaching her girls to say cunt.

We are all relieved to be honest. The other kids don't give a crap and are glad to see the back of him, which is very sad and all his own doing.

Ryan doing what he does best...causing trouble

2010-11-27T23:48:00.002Z

It's all happening here, I think he's probably moving out to be honest as he is not prepared to behave like a decent person towards me and Pete or the other kids. He thinks he's the boss of us all and we just can't take it any more. He's buggered off to work now but I doubt he'll be back.

He started yet another row with me again. This has been happening multiple times a day, so much so that I now hide in my bedroom of an evening while pete is at work. He asks me questions, then argues really aggressively when I answer. He was going on and on about us moving, how he hates where we live, when can we move, why haven't we moved already, why do we have to live in such a shithole, surely we can afford somewhere else etc(we had the same conversation with him yesterday). I told him we can't move for two years and he was just so rude and condescending towards me. Pete told him off for being rude and he was doing his usual "If she talks to me like a cunt I'll do it back". Nice. I told him that he needed to treat me with respect in my own house, I'd taken him in and he can't even talk to me like a human being. I said it would be best for him to just not speak to me at all as he keeps starting these arguments, and if he can't do that he'll have to go, and he started getting really personal. It all came out that he's been telling Pete that I'm horrible to the kids in the evenings when he's at work, then all nice when he gets home(Pete asked the other kids and they said it was rubbish). The thing is, Ryan has been doing the same in reverse and telling me that when I'm at work Pete goes to bed all day and leaves Kit unsupervised, which I know isn't true as the house is tidy when I get home. He's doing it to split us up! How messed up is that?

His ego seriously needs taking down a peg or two. He needs to grow up a bit and realise that the world doesn't owe him anything, might make him realise a few home truths. :(

We got the new mortgage!

2010-11-24T16:22:00.006Z

All our hardwork getting the house sorted(well, half-sorted) has paid off and we have been accepted for a decent mortgage with a reasonable interest rate, with smaller payments over a shorter term, which will make such a difference to us straight away. I'm so glad those 2am decorating marathons paid off! It should all be done downstairs by spring, then we need to decorate and re-carpet the upstairs, and we can finally rent this place out.

We went away for a much needed change of scenery at the beginning of November to my friend Deb's house. We took the two youngest children with us and left Ryan at home, where upon he proceeded to announce the free house to the whole town on Facebook. Thankfully only about 12 people turned up. Taylor went to his Nan's as we didn't think the journey of approximately three hours would agree with him, as he has a habit of getting carsick on long journeys. We stayed up in Sheffield for two night, and it was lovely to see my friend, and just to get out of the house for a bit really. We came back all full of the joys of spring.

Me, Deb and her sister Nikki.

A peek inside the crazy mind of Kit, aged 20 months.

2010-11-21T13:07:00.002Z

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Medusa

2010-11-03T19:35:00.004Z

Isobel wanted to be Medusa for Halloween, so I spent about an hour and a half plaiting her hair with wires inside. It was lots of fun to wrestle it out of there afterwards too.

She wore a completely different outfit for her school halloween disco. I was at work so couldn't do her medusa hair, so we went for the easy option, that old faithful, the witch.

Kit wasn't too impressed with the whole knocking on peoples doors in the dark thing. It baffled him a bit, I think.

Plastering

2010-10-26T20:42:00.006+01:00

Thanks to the minor car accident the other day, we are finally getting our house sorted. We've only lived here ten years. This has been a long time coming and we've been very patient.

We've spent the last week stripping wallpaper, pulling down coving and moving furniture. It's been...fun. Pete's been picking away at it for months, but once we had a deadline it was all systems go and we had to work late into the night quite a few times. The plasterer that we used was great, really great, and I can't quite believe this is my house!

Before and after pictures:

Under the stairs before...

...and after.

The worst bit - the bottom of the stairs where Ryan kindly flooded our bathroom and made the ceiling collapse.

What a difference!

The useless blocked up door to nowhere...

...now it's gone!

The living room was the worst. Underneath our old wallpaper it was decorated like a crack den by the previous tenants, who'd kindly painted straight onto bare plasterboard.

Finished!

Lovely navy walls. Classy!

5 Years

2010-10-21T19:28:00.003+01:00

Five years ago today, Ryan moved in with us. I can't believe how quickly that has flown by, I really can't. This is something worth celebrating. When he was younger, we used to buy him a chocolate cake to celebrate another year here with us.

The mess he was in when he moved in, you would never believe that he was the same person. He couldn't sleep, had to have long term counselling, felt guilty all the time and was completely brainwashed. He used to have nightmares every night about us all dying at Armageddon, and was so stressed that he had a nervous tic. Don't get me wrong, he's still an arrogant little turd who thinks the whole world revolves around him, but my god did we think he was going to go off the rails big style after the childhood he'd had and the emotional abuse from his Mum. He's turned out remarkably sane, all things considered. His Mum is still messing him about, doesn't give two hoots about him at all, but he's just used to it now.

I'm very proud, and so glad I fought for him and did the majority of the pushing to get him here. It's been worth it.

So, in celebration, here is ickle Ryan on his first day at senior school in 2005, age 11, two weeks after he'd moved in:

And this is almost 17 yr old Ryan now:

MORE pictures

2010-10-19T20:32:00.005+01:00

Sorry to be a complete bore, but I just love the light at this time of year for outdoors photography, so tend to take loads of shots of the kids. When we actually get some sunshine that is. It has been quite sunny here this week, but bloody freezing!

Kit has really grown up all of a sudden, he's chatting away constantly. He has learnt to say "Dark", "Bird" and "Moon" this week, but now gets very disappointed when there is no moon to look at.

I took this one yesterday and instantly thought how much he looked like Isobel at the same age. They've always been similar, with Kit looking more like me and Bel more like Pete, but they really are pulling the exact same face here!

Kit:

Bel:

Funny

2010-10-16T20:41:00.002+01:00

I think I am either raising a genius, or a sociopath. Maybe he is both? An evil overlord or something. This picture just about sums him up really. A hilariously suspicious baby;

He laughs all the time, even if it is a little worryingly maniacal at times, but then he flashes from giggling to being completely deadpan and staring right deep into your eyes. He is so intense.

Taylor came home with a swollen eyebrow last week. When he told me the story, I wished I'd been there because it sounded seriously funny. He was on the bus, the driver braked too hard and Taylor shot forward. He fell down the steps in the middle of the bus and headbutted the bell. It dinged, and everyone on the bus laughed at him. One lady laughed so much she had a coughing fit.

The best thing? The bus driver heard the bell, stopped, and it was actually Taylor's stop!

Smash

2010-10-09T10:46:00.003+01:00

Pete had a car accident on Thursday morning, with all the kids in the car on the way to school. I wasn't there, I'd stayed at home to get ready for work. A young girl went into the back of our new(well, technically 10 yr old) car at a roundabout. She was very upset and admitted responsibility. Her insurance company called with an offer by lunchtime and we bargained with them a little and are now the recipients of a £1600 payout. The car is fine, you can barely see the damage, but we will need to get it looked at as it may not pass the MOT now. The kids were all fine too and went to school with no problems.

Our credit card balance will now be looking a little bit healthier, and we can finish plastering the hallway and fix the TV. I just can't wait to get the house finished. We've waited so long to have it all done, we've owned this place for three years and have lived here for eleven, and we have been battling with it that whole time, watching it crumbling before our very eyes and just getting worse. It's a little sad that I'm so excited about painting freshly plastered walls, and having flooring that isn't ratty and horrible. We also finally got a garage after 18 months on the waiting list this week, it's in a terrible state so the council need to sort it before we can use it really, the door is hanging off and there is a terrible roof leak, but to finally have somewhere for the moped, bikes and lawnmower to live is great.

House

2010-10-04T21:14:00.003+01:00

We've just spent about 4 days decorating and cleaning like mad things as we had valuers coming to have a look at the house. We want to remortgage to get a better interest rate and pay it off over a shorter term, so a better deal all round, but needed the top end valuation to get it. Pete and I stayed up until 2am decorating, then were up again at 5am finishing it off. All week we nagged the kids to tidy their rooms. Taylor & Isobel were angels and were really helpful, Ryan thought he was above all that pulling-his-weight for the family stuff, and waited until his lack of response caused a massive row, and did it under duress ten minutes before the man walked over the threshold. Lovely.

We are right, slap bang in the middle of a massive redecorating spree, so I thought I'd take before pics while the house was nice and tidy. Probably the tidiest it's been for years to be fair, though not for long I'm sure.

Isobel & Kit's room

Our bedroom

Our newly decorated bathroom, it took about 3o hours, with work in between, to wallpaper, paint and lay the flooring. I do seem to work better with a deadline looming!

I'm very proud of my new floor, I am now a self-proclaimed DIY genius!

The hallway, a work in progress - Pete's been stripping the walls to get them ready for plastering for a few weeks now, and I started laying the wooden floor this week.

The kitchen, which is the only finished room in the house.

Taylor's lovely tidy bedroom. It doesn't look like that now.

College

2010-09-26T12:30:00.006+01:00

Ryan has been at college for two ish weeks now and it isn't going so well. This may not be a bad thing, I think it could go either way as he has such an ego, being taken down a peg a two may sort him out. He's always been one of those people who blame others for their problems, think the whole world owes them a living etc. He has got better with time, but it's innate in him I think. Ryan lives in cloud cuckoo land where £30K jobs land in your lap, he thinks he's destined for greatness with zero effort put in on his part. Not unusual for teenage boys, but he's always been like it in some way. He's getting better though.

When he got his GCSE's he was giving it the large saying "Wow, I didn't even try at all and I still got C's, unbelievable!"(he got a couple of B's in unimportant subjects like PE too). When he went for his college interview they told him his grades weren't good enough and they weren't going to let him do A Levels. Pete went in and talked them into accepting him.

So, fast forward a few weeks and he's getting a public shaming from the tutors who keep telling him he'll never pass, statistically he's on target for an E because of his GCSE's being at an average level. I told Ryan they are probably telling him this to try and gee him up and make him work harder. He handed in some Politics homework the other day and got a U. He had tests on Friday in Economics that he knew he wouldn't pass, so he called in sick. Trouble is, he's working too many hours at Pizza Hut because he loves the ££££, and he's chasing after some girl. He needs to get his priorities right. It's all a learning curve.

Not sure what to do for him to be honest. He needs to figure this one out for himself. We've been trying to talk him into putting some effort in for the last few years and he thinks he knows best. I'm sure the college have picked up on his innate laziness and are just trying to knock it out of him early on. It's so annoying because he IS clever enough, but he really struggles with learning and thinking outside the box. I blame the way his Mum brought him up, he doesn't know how to question things, or research or think independently. When I homeschooled him it wss a nightmare as he needed to be spoonfed everything. He's doing Business, Economics, Politics and Philosophy. He's really enjoying the subjects, they are what he is good at to be honest, but his thought processes and work isn't anywhere near A level standard yet.

In other news, Ryan's mum has decided that after about 6 maintenance payments for Ryan, at £20 a month, she doesn't really fancy paying it anymore. So, she's paid £120 in five years. Her and Pete had a massive row about it where she proceeded to proclaim that she is a "good parent because she always buys him new things like trainers when she sees him". Hmmmm...funnily enough, Ryan doesn't agree. He thinks she's an idiot, just like the majority of the rest of the world who are unfortunate enough to come into contact with her. Apparently if we want any maintenance money now we have to beg Ryan for it, out of the sporadic pocket money she sends him. As if we'll do that. Pete asked her if she was happy with the fact that another woman was financially and emotionally supporting her child, because she was so bad at it. That went down well, as you can imagine!

She also promised Ryan an iPod for passing his exams. So far she has called every week to talk about it, and she even lied about sending it at one point saying the postman must've put a card through the door, then backtracked in the next call and said she was ordering it the next day, then another week passed and we got more phonecalls talking about the wonderful imaginary iPod. What colour does he want? What case does he want? What size does he want? No actual iPod though. It's almost like she's showing off about buying it, without actually buying it. She is crackers with a capital C. We are now awaiting the delivery of the magical iPod, which Ryan is adamant she ordered while he was on the phone to her last Monday. It's still not here. *Newsflash* She is currently on the phone telling him that the company have refunded her money so she's had to get it somewhere else. How many more excuses can she come up with. It's hilarious.

I forgot to mention, at least one of us has had some luck recently. Pete passed his Youth Worker course and finally started one of his jobs that he was offered earlier on in the year. He now works Wednesdays and Fridays in two local youth centres. He is still waiting patiently for a start date for the other one, working with young offenders. They are taking their time, it's fair to say. I'm very proud of him for doing so well. It's great to be able to stick two fingers up to the stinky Retail jobs he did before.

Kit aged 18 months

2010-09-22T12:08:00.001+01:00

Kit having a little chat. I'm sure whatever it is he is trying to say is very important.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

18 Months

2010-09-22T10:42:00.004+01:00

You would never believe that he was a little tinker when he looks so cute in photos, would you? He still wakes up at night, is a fussy monkey with food and barely eats, likes to beat everyone up and wrestle, but to make up for it all he is incredibly cute and cuddly. He's at that lovely stage where he's learning to talk, and calls everything animated a "Duck-Duck". He is obsessed with ducks. All birds are ducks. Sometimes even dogs can be ducks. Cats are not ducks though, because all cats just have to be our cat Moo Moo.

Foraging

2010-09-15T19:19:00.002+01:00

We went for a very brief walk at the weekend as both Pete and I have terrible colds. I've had mine for about two weeks now, I just can't seem to shift it and have been coughing for ages. We keep waking each other up at night having involuntary coughing fits, and of course the sleepless nights help with our general moods. In other words, we are being grumpy sods. The kids were all climbing the walls though, so we did the dutiful parent bit and went for a wander in the woods.

Shaggy parasols, Sloes for gin, Apples and Blackberries that swiftly went in a pie that afternoon, and some Plums which made a rather tart jam. Not bad for free!

School

2010-09-12T10:52:00.004+01:00

So, the children have all had their first full week back at school. Isobel has just gone up into the final year of infant school, so it wasn't a huge change for her, just a new teacher. The boys have both gone up a level though, Taylor to senior school and Ryan to college.

Taylor has already secured a place on the school football team and played his first match on Thursday against a local school. He's taken to the whole senior school thing like a duck to water and even did his first bit of homework, French, without causing a fuss during the week. He's had four pieces of work to do over the weekend and has done two already. This is the boy that would rip stuff up if it had a spelling mistake and cry for hours over homework, so I'm glad he's taking it all in his stride.

Ryan is taking a really tricky set of A levels and he appears to be loving it, although I think he's well aware that the novelty will wear off and the hard work will begin. He's doing Economics, Business, Philosophy and Politics, and we've been having some cracking debates with him at home about the stuff he's learnt. He seems to be actually learning stuff, shock horror!

Sun and seaside

2010-09-05T15:58:00.005+01:00

Yes, we actually had some sun, and we made the most of it.

We drove over to Walton on the Naze for the day, which is about an hour or so away from us. Weirdly, we'd never been before, even though we've seen most of Essex over the years. The sea was so choppy, it was beautiful, and we had fun trying to run away from the breakers.

Taylor wasn't so lucky this time!

The Windfarm in the distance. Aren't they just the eeriest, most mesmerising things ever? I could watch them all day.

Exam Results

2010-09-01T18:44:00.001+01:00

Ryan had his GCSE results last week, he did very well considering he panicked right at the last minute and actually put some effort in. We were all very pleased for him and proud.

He'd already sat his English and Maths a year ago and got C's, but still needed 3 more C and above grades for college. He got C's in English Lit and Statistics and B's in PE and Media. Pete said he was being cocky when they went to get his results, saying he couldn't believe he'd done no work and still passed, so imagine his surprise when he went to enrol at college and they told him he couldn't do A Levels because his GCSE's weren't good enough! They were really bullying him into taking BTECs instead, which isn't what he wanted, so he had to get Pete to come in with him and beg for the A Level spaces. I think that might have taught him a bit of a lesson to be honest. Pete went in and told them that he'd sat two of them a year early and had only been at the school 2.5 years and they decided to let him enrol. He got in by the skin of his teeth. Hopefully he'll realise now that he needs to pull his finger out and do the work.

Squeezing the last few days out of the Summer

2010-08-30T15:36:00.000+01:00

It has been really, truly a rubbish summer. We've had hardly any days out because of the rain, and me working. Not much of the fruit around here has ripened, it's all tiny and hard, and the trees started dropping their leaves weeks ago, which is bizarre. I have felt bad not doing much with the family, so we went to Danbury Woods for a wander, another childhood haunt of mine that I've never taken my brood to before. Kit got to see his new obsession there on the ornamental pond, ducks. He really does loves them!

V Festival

2010-08-25T15:22:00.000+01:00

We went to the V Festival on the Sunday in Chelmsford. It was Ryan's first festival, so that was fun. Our friend Bushy went with his 16 year old daughter Charlotte too, so her and Ryan wandered off being teenagers most of the day. I went to my first one at 16 too.

We had a tough decision to make as we loved both of the headline bands, Kasabian and The Prodigy. We saw the Prodigy at V in 2005 so were veering towards staying for Kasabian, but my god am I glad we didn't in the end! The Prodigy were amazing, probably one of the best live shows I've ever seen, and I've seen a few.

Fruit Picking

2010-08-18T20:28:00.009+01:00

We went fruit picking last week, on one of the rare days where we actually got some sunshine!

We picked our own body weight in raspberries, and got a few leftover strawberries too. We are now overrun with raspberry jam but we've got into the very naughty habit of having cream teas. It only takes me about 20 minutes to knock out some scones, which is about the same amount of time that it takes Pete to drive to the shop for clotted cream.

Karting

2010-08-07T11:31:00.003+01:00

An old school friend of mine who I chat to on Facebook owns his own karts, and takes his son to a track in Tilbury, so last weekend we had an invite to go over. We still had no car at that point so I had to walk to the train station, travel a few stops, then walk to the track - we were bloody knackered by the time we got there!

Taylor had a great time though and got to have a go in the big kart as he was too tall for the junior one.

Hmmm...

2010-08-06T09:24:00.010+01:00

Can you see his lovely chicken pox scar on his head? It is really deep and awful. I'm very sad about it. :(

We are not having much fun at all here. My job is basically finished, so once August pay day comes around we are totally out of money. I've applied for a few other bits and had no replies, so I had an interview for a local part time job today out of desperation. I should hear back in a few days. If I don't get it we won't be eating next month! I had to sell my moped as scrap on Ebay, then we had to scrap the car too as we couldn't afford to MOT that either as it had too many problems, and now Pete's TV has blown up. Not good. We had a power surge and it's totally busted.

It's not all doom and gloom though, we scrabbled together all the money we had in the world, and Pete's parents sent us some too, and we managed to buy a very lovely new car this week;

I also heard that I passed my course this year, somehow, so that cheered me up a little.

Taylor & Isobel finished school a few weeks ago now. Taylor goes up to senior school in September so he had lots of fun activities leading up to the holidays. They all went bowling;

And got to graffiti all over each other on the last day!

Sad Times

2010-07-17T20:00:00.005+01:00

My bike Cosmo has died after only 5 weeks. We only had him serviced this week. Now he's had it. RIP Cosmo. :(

Holiday

2010-07-17T19:59:00.017+01:00

Well, I have finally found time to upload our holiday pictures. I've been a busy little bee at work since we got home.

So, we set off for the airport with trepidation...what was Kit going to be like on the flight? Since he learnt to walk he has turned from this quiet, mild mannered child into a moaning, screeching, can't-sit-still dervish. Nothing placates him. He hates food, throws toys, hates to have his hand held and hits old people/cats/babies for fun. In short, he is a massive pain. How on earth would I get him to sit quietly on my lap for four hours?

Well, he cried for about 20 minutes, in which time everyone on the plane stared at me, then slept the rest of the way. We had those lovely seats at the front with lots of leg room, which for me was great because I'm a giant. When we arrived it was about 6am, and it was at this point we found out that our holiday company hadn't bothered to book us any transfers. So we were stuck at the airport with grumpy children(and a grumpy husband) and had to fork out extra to pay for a taxi. The transfer itself was hellish, and we started to be thankful that we weren't in a crowded mini bus at this point. It was about a 2 hour drive and it was all up a mountain that can only be described as something out of the set of Indiana Jones. We had wheels hanging off the cliff more than once, I swear.

Checking out the crib;

First view of Turunc bay at daybreak.

The hotel had receievd some pretty scathing reviews online, but seeing as we'd done this before; booked a hotel in Jamaica that was practically condemed in reviews and was actually great, we weren't too worried. It looked fine and our room was great, one of the best and biggest we've ever stayed in. Everyone had a little snooze, but Kit wouldn't settle so I took him for a walk down to the beach at about 8am.

My boys

Icecream face

The mosque. I'm missing the regular singing actually. Never thought I'd say that. Although it was quite annoying at 5am.

Basically the holiday went like this; sleep in late, sunbathe & swim, drink beer, eat dinner, take kids for a wander along the seafront at night, eat icecream, then drink too much wine on the balcony. It was honestly the most carefree, relaxing holiday I think we've ever had, I came back so rested. Ryan had a great time as he was old enough to have a bit more freedom. He made some freinds and went clubbing. Taylor lived in the pool, we hardly saw him. The only down side was Isobel came out with Chicken Pox spots half way through the holiday, so we had to cover her up quite a lot.

Kit looking out of our glass balcony

We escaped for the evening - the only plus side to having a teenager on holiday!

Playing Snap!

We were very brave and took the kids out for dinner. They ALL behaved impeccably. Yes, even Kit.

Kit having a fight with a bush

Spotty girl!

Scary mountainous trip home.

Typical!

2010-06-27T11:47:00.002+01:00

We spend all that money to go and catch some sun in a foreign country, and we are due a heatwave here in the UK the same week! I'm pretty sure Turkey will still be hotter though.

Oh well, going on holiday is always good, if a little stressful. I am not looking forward to the travelling with a baby, I must admit. I am very happy we have a night flight.

See you in a week.

All done!

2010-06-15T20:50:00.002+01:00

That's it, my course is all over with, well until February next year anyway. I revised like a demon, and still managed to revise all the wrong topics. I did just about know enough to answer the required three of them though, just. I was very lucky that I knew enough to get through it. I am so glad that I can have a rest for a few months now.

It's all coming together nicely

2010-06-10T21:04:00.013+01:00

Pete was away on his annual football tour last week from Wednesday to early hours of Monday, so it was a bit mad here because I had my last two days at work and had to find childcare and rush around. I took the kids to the funfair on Saturday, and rattled around the house trying to revise(eeep - only 4 days to go). We had some lovely storms too which were fun to watch.

While he was away it was sods law that two or three mopeds and scooters came up locally that were perfect for me. I missed out on them and was a bit gutted. But, I always say what is meant for you won't pass you by, and lo and behold I found the scooter that I really wanted, the same make that I passed my CBT on. I took the plunge and clicked the scary Buy It Now button on Ebay, and when Pete got home we went to try it out and buy it in South London. The seller even gave us the helmet and bike lock. He(yes, definitely a HE - I have named him Cosmo) is perfect, and is now nestling beside Ryan's monster of a moped out in the garden. I absolutely love riding it, can't wait to start zooming about for my new job next week. Ryan is an ickle bit jealous as mine is about 30mph faster than his.

So, on to the new job. I can't describe how much I am enjoying it, and I haven't even started properly yet. The company is great, and strangely casual yet professional at the same time. The staff are friendly and helpful, the actual job I'm going to be doing is so worthwhile...can't fault it so far. I'm on a hugely intensive training academy at the moment with a wonderful group of people from all different departments, one of whom will be my very close partner in crime doing the same job as me. It's been fab getting to know them all, but especially her as we are going to be relying on each other a lot. I still have 5 days of courses left yet, with my degree exam in the middle of all that too. My brain may explode!

New Camera

2010-06-01T10:00:00.004+01:00

I got a new compact digital camera for my birthday, mainly to take on holiday as I don't want to take my huge DSLR. It was only a cheap Samsung on offer in Tesco, but the pictures come out ok. It'll be perfect to carry about in my handbag in Turkey!

I am now a 30 something

2010-05-25T15:30:00.002+01:00

Well, I had a fabulous 30th birthday yesterday. I took my bike test and passed with flying colours, so I'm all set to start my job now. We finished 3 hours early and he said it was one of the easiest he'd ever done as I'm a natural rider(that'll be the years of horse riding then) with superb balance. I'm now quite proud of my superb balance.

Not had much luck since though. I took Ryan's bike up the shops last night and couldn't get the key to turn when I tried to come home, so Pete had to come and rescue me. Then this morning I took it to my cleaning job, and the damn thing wouldn't start so I was stuck there. Not good. It's still there now, not sure what the problem is. It's really unreliable. I don't think I'll be buying the same bike, frankly. I can't be getting stuck when I'm out on visits at work.

Family Picnic

2010-05-23T22:21:00.005+01:00

We thought we'd take full advantage of the sun before it buggered off again, so went for a picnic in Maldon today where we met up with my Dad & Pauline. It was such a good day, the kids all behaved themselves, Kit wasn't a pain in the rear, the weather and company were fabulous. I may be a little crispy now, didn't wear enough sun cream, but at least the kids were covered.

Kit on the loose!

Collecting weaponry

Taylor after my beer

Happy 6th Birthday Isobel

2010-05-22T23:04:00.003+01:00

I can't believe that this cute little thing...

Now looks like this!

Where has that time gone? It certainly passes by without you even realising. She is so grown up now, and as a bright as a button. I can't wait to see what she will be like in a few years time.

Birthday Meal

2010-05-22T21:53:00.006+01:00

We got as many of our friends as we could muster together last night to go out for a meal for my birthday - the big three zero! It isn't actually until Monday, so I am still clinging on to my twenties as I post this.

We had a lovely time, but I've STILL got a hangover at 11pm the next day. Getting too old for this...

Day at the beach

2010-05-16T09:50:00.008+01:00

Another manic busy week here. Nothing new there then. It's only going to get worse when I work fulltime...HELP. I start in three weeks. Prepare to never see me again.

Pete had an interview for a Youth Worker job on Monday, first time he's even been selected for interview for one and he really wanted the job. He was interviewed for four positions, and they called him on Thursday and offered him two of them! We are both very happy that the plans we put in place to get our dream jobs about two years ago have finally come together. A bit of determination gets you everywhere. It's only two evenings a week, but that's all he needs, seeing as he's going to be my little housewife from now on. :)

Ryan had his last official day of school this week too, where they all sign each others shirts and take lots of pictures. I remember it well. Can't believe I left the same school 14 years ago. He only has to go back for five exams now and he is done. I think he has two Media exams, PE, Statistics and English Lit. He has finished everything else already.

Taylor had his SATS tests this week too, which seemed to go well. He has a guided tour of his new senior school this week, as we missed all the open days earlier on in the year. I'm really excited for him as the school looks brilliant.

Pete was going to Wembley to watch Portsmouth in the FA Cup yesterday, so I decided to take the kids to the beach with a friend for the day, rather than sit around indoors. The weather wasn't great, thought it might be a washout at first, but I'm glad we went as it was lovely!

Kit wasn't sure about the sand at first;

All attempts at crabbing were unsuccessful. Our bacon clearly wasn't of the quality the crabs were accustomed to.

Kit really looks like both Ryan and Pete's Dad in this picture. Pete noticed it last night. He normally looks so much like me, we'd never noticed the other resemblances before.

The big day

2010-05-06T07:45:00.003+01:00

Well, today is the day that a third of the country who have bothered to register, go and vote. It beggars belief that often the people most helped by the government, those living in poverty, can't be bothered to register to vote. That will be my mission in the next few years, encouraging people to use what they've been given.

What they don't realise is if we wake up to a Tory government tomorrow, they are in big trouble. If they'd got up off their backsides and chosen to vote today, and voted for the party who actually gives a damn about them, then I wouldn't be sitting here worried. I've chosen a career in the social sector, as has my husband. We like being involved in the community, and will probably always be seeking out new projects that we are passionate about. One day, we'd quite like to set up a project or charity of our own together. If the Conservatives win tonight, most of these valuable projects, that encourage families to get better educated, eat healthily, care about their surroundings, care about each other, break the cycle of poverty and hopelessness for their children, they will all be cut. It makes me very sad.

I can remember all too well the last Tory government, the divide between the 'haves and the have-nots', the attitude that poor people are at fault for their misfortune-never mind that they were born poor and there is no escape. I can't believe the amount of public sector workers I've heard talking about voting for David Cameron. Do they not realise that their jobs are on the line here? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

This will be a very sad household tomorrow if what I fear becomes a reality. I am not just worried for my family and what the future will hold if we both lose our jobs, I am more worried about the children and families out there that really need help and support, and the disabled who need home care, and the homeless. We will be fine. They probably will not.

Where is it?

2010-05-01T22:00:00.002+01:00

I have lost my gym mojo. Has anyone seen it?

I've been so good, going three times a week for about 11 weeks, but I had some kind of virus thingy where any physical effort was impossible, and now I can't be bothered to go back. :( I've had a stressful week with coursework and an essay cut-off date too, which hasn't helped. I only have one more essay to go. Yes, one more. I can handle the exam fine, I love revising and don't mind a bit of pressure, but I hate my tutor and the essay writing part. Can't wait to get it all finished for the summer now.

I've had my start date through for the new job, the 7th of June. I'm doing a training course for a week, then they'll be letting me loose on the public. I am so excited, but crapping myself at the same time. What if I'm not any good at it? Still can't believe I've got the job that I wanted.

I've moved Kit in with Isobel tonight, so Taylor is now where Kit was, in the box room, so he has his own space again. He's in hogs heaven. Bless him, he's been so patient waiting for his room back.

Bush Envy

2010-04-27T10:48:00.005+01:00

en·vy /ˈɛnvi/ Show Spelled [en-vee] noun,plural-vies, verb,-vied, -vy·ing.
–noun

1.a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
2.an object of envious feeling: "Her glorious privet bush hedge made her the envy of her neighbors".

Yes, my neighbor has the Bush Envy. It is actually quite hilarious. Pete has been clearing the pit of a front garden. He's moved my massive flowering shrub thing(yes, that is it's Latin name), planted some begonias and busylizzie's(can you tell I am not into flower gardening at all?), then I bought him some bare-root Privet bushes on Ebay and he set to putting them in. The next door neighbor has been watching him with a glint in his eye, making snide little comments like "That line isn't straight", and "They'll take ages to grow you know", or "They are too close together", amongst other things. Alas, our hedge does NOT yet look like the glorious specimen above. It looks like this;

Pete has just seen the neighbor carrying a bag of compost into the house, so the war has begun it seems.

I went to stay with some friends I'd met online, up in Sheffield. The journey was immense. I travelled to Richmond by tube and met another friend, who drove us both up there. I think it took me six hours in total. It was lovely to be child free for a day. A week would be nicer though. Coming home was even worse as I was hungover. Yuck.

We also travelled back into London to watch the London Marathon at the weekend, as our friend Brian was running in it to raise money for Arthritis Care. He did brilliantly, considering we'd all laughed when he told us last year that he was applying for a place. He did say that he was glad we did all scoff at the idea, as it egged him on to finish.

New Job

2010-04-19T19:07:00.005+01:00

About a week ago, on an email at work, I saw an advert for a secondment opportunity for one year, doing my dream job. It's basically what I'm doing my degree for. It was for a Family Intervention Support Worker, working with disadvantaged families who have been in trouble for anti-social behaviour, influencing them to make positive changes to their lives to improve their and especially their children's life chances. Seriously, it was my dream job.

I only had about an hour to do the application and I really didn't do myself justice, so when they called me a week later to ask me to come to an interview I was shocked. Fast forward to today, my interview was at 9am and I was in there for 45 minutes then had a written test too, seemed like I was there forever. I was interviewed first, then as I was doing my test in the room next door they were interviewing someone else and I could hear every word! She stumbled a lot and asked them to repeat questions a few times so I felt a bit more confident after that.

Well, they called me at 5pm to offer me the job! I wanted this job sooooo much, can't bloody wait to start now but have to wait for the crb check to come back(even though I have a valid one already dated Nov 09 - it's madness that they have to re-apply). Here is a link to the FIP project description, which says it better than I ever could.

Just got to pass my bike test in a week or so and buy a moped now, and even worse, I have to tell my manager that I'm leaving for a year...I am TERRIFIED.

Half Term

2010-04-16T18:43:00.000+01:00

Is it just me, are the children always off on some kind of holiday? Don't get me wrong, I prefer having them at home because I get a lie in and there is less washing and ironing to do, but it seems like we just get into a routine and it changes again.

We got up to the usual days out. We've been to the seaside for a wander, a bag of chips and a go in the arcades, and it just happened to be the day of the motorbike cruise on the seafront so Taylor and Kit were happy watching the bikes.

We went out for a pub dinner and got to sit out in the sunshine having a beer.

I met up with some online friends and their children for a picnic at the local nature reserve.

Annnnnnd, Kit decided he'd finally start walking unaided.

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T09:54:00.004+01:00

Wow, it's been a while since I had time to update my blog. Naughty me. We are all just plodding along here quite merrily. I am loking forward to my friend Sam having her second baby any day now. We are on call to go and collect her 5 year old son for a sleepover here when she goes into labour. Can't wait to have a snuggle with a baby girl, it has been a while since I've held one. I'm kind of used to boys now! She's asked me to take some nice photos of Harvey and the baby, so I can't wait to do that.
We normally do our annual easter egg hunt in the woods, but due to Sam's rather large belly, and the rotten weather, we moved it indoors this year:

The Birthday Boy

2010-03-21T19:26:00.005Z

Just wanted to add some pictures of the birthday boy.

Opening his presents

Wasn't impressed with the cake(well, who would be if they knew they were too sick to eat it?)

In bed this morning

Feeling glum

Watching Daddy play PC games

Happy First Birthday!

2010-03-20T13:33:00.003Z

Well, the boy is one today. He was born at 2.47am, so we would've been all snuggled up in hospital now this time a year ago.

He's been ill with a sicky virus this week, so is miserable as sin and not really up for celebrating at all. Poor thing.

Almost one

2010-03-16T18:58:00.004Z

Christian is one on Saturday. I can't believe it. He is still very quiet, uber cute, and very much a typical boy. He loves footballs, playing fetch, wrestling his sister...typical boy stuff really.

How much like Isobel is he in this one?

I didn't get either of the jobs I applied for, and Pete isn't getting any interviews either, so we are stuck here in this tiny little house going crazy. I think we are going to have to stay here and do the building work that we need to do to make the house bigger.

I went to a tutorial for my course and my tutor was stroppy with me because I'd moaned via email about her marking. She put me on the spot, asking me what my problems were in front of everyone thinking I would back down, so I told her that her marking doesn't make sense and her comments aren't understandable. Her written English is unintelligible, and that isn't fair. This is MY future she is messing about with. She then proceeded to go through the marking strategy being really patronising, and I told her that I'd filled all the set criteria she'd just been through and she is still marking me down. She just smirked and shrugged. She's a bitch and I can't wait to be shot of her. During the group work we were split into two teams and no matter what my group talked about she shot it down in flames(even though I made sure I did none of the talking, because I knew she'd be a pain and it wasn't fair on the rest of my group), and the other group, who talked nonsense and stuttered their way through it, were heaped with praise. If this next essay isn't marked appropriately I will be asking to be moved to another tutor group. :(

School Report

2010-03-05T17:40:00.004Z

Taylor has just brought home an excellent school report, I think it's the best one we've ever seen from any of the children. We normally give them £5 for a good report, but he can have a tenner for this one! He got above the expected standard in reading and writing, and is on target for maths and science, and he got A's and B's for effort.
His teacher says:

"Teaching Taylor this year has truly been absolute pleasure. He is a kind and hardworking young man. He approaches all tasks, inside and outside of the classroom, with determination and a keenness to please. He has a witty sense of humour and he is a popular, well-respected class member. I have no doubt he will achieve great things in the future. He has grown into a polite young man with a positive outlook and attitude towards learning - keep it up Taylor, and you'll go far! I wish him all the best in the future."

His headteacher put:

"Taylor this is a delightful report. You can be really proud of this. Your attitude to work, combined with your obvious abilities have resulted in you making such pleasing progress. You are clearly a great asset to your class, and a delight to teach. Keep up this hard work and you will go from strength to strength, and have a superb foundation upon which to build your year 7 work."

Change

2010-03-02T14:09:00.002Z

It's a big week for us this week. Change is afoot(hopefully).

Firstly, Monday the 1st of March was the day we found out about Taylor's senior school place. After months of stressing about it, there I was at 12.10am on Sunday night logging in to the Essex Schools website. I couldn't believe he got the school we wanted! Still can't believe it really. It's second best in the area, and when you consider how bad a lot of the schools here are, this is a big deal. We've been very lucky.

I'm next on the list for big change. I'm leaving in thirty minutes for an interview. Then I have another interview tomorrow. Then, hopefully, I'll have another one in a few weeks time. Not sure what I'll do if I get more than one offer. Got to get the interviews out of the way first I guess.

Half term - bit late!

2010-02-19T19:25:00.007Z

Running a bit late posting this, but whats new! I'm not known for my time keeping.

We went to Wat Tyler on the Monday with Sam & Harvey, made birdhouses and let the kids run riot in the park. Spring has definitely sprung here now, it's been lovely to see a bit of sunshine and get washing dry outside.

On the Tuesday Taylor had some money from his birthday from his Dad, so he got to do his one true love - Karting! He was actually really bloody good. Shame we aren't rich and unable to afford his own kart, we could have the next Lewis Hamilton on our hands.

The rest of the week the kids ran wild, beating each other up, being messy - the usual.

Serious baby!

Ryan and Taylor both went to stay with various family members for a few days at the tail end of the week, so our food shopping bill was instantly halved. Which was nice.

Birthday Meal

2010-02-07T11:27:00.002Z

We took the whole tribe out for a Chinese for Taylor's birthday yesterday. His actual 11th birthday isn't until Monday though.

Isobel in a party dress and biker boots. Stylish!

We haven't been able to all go out for about a year, because there wasn't room in the car! Now that Ryan has his bike, he just follows us there. It's excellent.

This course is going to be the death of me

2010-02-07T10:26:00.003Z

Having a bit of a wobble over my course this week. My last two essays have had clear passes, so the actual grade isn't the problem(though higher would be nice of course, I was used to getting 80% last year!), but it seems as though my tutor is marking someone elses essays. Her comments don't correspond at all, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

On essay 2, I had to investigate three websites for barriers such as structural, environmental and attitudnal, and I decided to look at the three sites under each heading so they could be compared to each other, rather than just investigating each website seperately. She just couldn't see it at all, even though the question asked us to analyse them and compare them to each other, she seemed to think I hadn't set it out properly. The worst one was the last one, essay 3, where she has commented on my use of a case study that I haven't even alluded to. I'm sure she isn't even reading them. :(

I'm pretty sure asking for a re-mark will be a bad thing, because then the tutor will be annoyed with me, and probably give me worse marks anyway. Should I just be happy with my passes? Don't know what to dooooooo.

The next essay is awful, just awful, and I think I'm going to ask to substitute it. The question is;
Drawing on evidence from online government statistics and at least one other online resource, outline current trends in the provision of home care and discuss the implications of these trends for the ways in which people obtain care and support for themselves.

I'm already a week behind on the coursewwork as it is!

2010-01-31T09:05:00.007Z

Ryan took his bike test just over a week ago and passed easily, but then his brand new moped wouldn't start! We tried all sorts to get it going, and in the end my uncle came over for dinner on Sunday and tried a few tricks. Eventually it started, we still aren't sure what it was, but we think there must've been an airlock in the fuel pipe. The damp weather doesn't help, so we've had the wonderful inconvenience of it sitting in our hallway every evening, but at least it starts first time now. He fell off it and smashed his wing mirror too this week. Nothing too serious. I'm sure it won't be the last time he comes off. Thank goodness it started working as he started a new job, and its really out of the way with no public transport. He's loving the freedom, being able to nip round to his mates, or down town, plus it only takes him about 5 minutes to get to school now. Now that he's the cool kid with the bike, interested girls seem to be coming out of the woodwork too. I love seeing him grow up.

Not sure where we are on the moving house front. I haven't applied for any jobs in other towns just yet, we need to wait for Ryan to be nearer to sitting his exams first. It's all about the timing! Annoyingly, the rents seem to have gone up hugely in the last two months, which has kind of scuppered our plans a little. I've just applied for a job here, so obviously if I get that and I love it we will be staying local. It's all so frustrating. We really want to foster, and can't until we move, but the moving part is sooo hard.

I'm so glad that it's Sunday today, we took Taylor and Isobel to see Avatar 3d last night and I swear I could've curled up in the cinema and had a snooze. Kit was really grumpy on Wednesday, then when I was at work on Thursday he cried all day for Pete, so we drove miles away to see an emergency doctor that evening, who barely even looked at him and declared it a virus. Good old mothers intuition told me that wasn't right, he was really hot and kept pulling at his ears like he had an ear infection, then he was in bed with us all night with a really high temp screaming his head off. We had zero sleep, I was so knackered at work on Friday morning. I got him an appointment at our surgery on Friday(a miracle, appointments are like gold dust), Pete took him and straight away he spotted that he had tonsillitis and gave him anti biotics. I was ever so slightly annoyed that the emergency doctor hadn't picked up on it the night before, as the poor little mite had suffered all night for nothing. Twelve hours after taking his first dose he was better, though he's been grumpy again this morning.

I probably won't be on here much this month, I'm already a week behind on my coursework, and I have a pig of an essay due at the end of February. Wish me luck!

Almost walking

2010-01-20T10:52:00.001Z

Kit only started crawling a month ago, and look at him already!

Butlins

2010-01-19T22:24:00.005Z

Just after Christmas we had the crazy task of packing for a family of six to go to Butlins for four days. We filled pretty much every suitcase we have, mainly with baby stuff, and squeezed ourselves into the car for the journey.

The kids had a great time, I loved getting away from the cooking and cleaning and studying for the week, but it was bloody hard work! Both me and Kit had nasty chesty coughs which meant we couldn't go swimming, and he was a misery guts the whole time.
This photo sums up his mood for the week quite nicely:

Pete and I took it in turns to put him to bed, so one of us was tucked up in bed by 8pm each night. Yes, even on New Years Eve. Pete and I celebrated the new year by eating cheese and crackers and drinking Baileys in our room. Rock and roll!

Taylor and his one true love

Starting them gambling early

Traditional New Years Day swim. And no, we did NOT join them!

Ryan was sixteen on New Years Eve, so we all ate together and he opened a few presents, and he got to stay out late causing mischief with the two other teenagers that had come away with us.

Blimey, sixteen! He'll be leaving school in about 5 months and off to college. Makes me feel old, so it must make Pete feel even older.

Try again...

2010-01-19T21:50:00.008Z

...after the disappearing blog post debacle the other day I am a little wary. It was a seriously huge, photo filled affair which took me at least thirty minutes to upload, only for it to vanish into thin air. Annoyed was an understatement. It's taken me three days to get over the upset.

So, in December we went to the London Eye with my work;

Proof that I do actually have to do some work while I'm out on my jaunts...here I am shepherding some of my charges.

I'd probably lost the other 44 at this point. Wouldn't be the first time.

Then of course we had the mania that is known as Christmas Day. The children opened their sacks in the morning, then the rest of the family came over for dinner.

The food all cooked as well as can be expected, given the ongoing battle I have with my oven(the turkey took seven hours), although I did forget to cook the pigs in blankets. We opened our main presents after the dinner, and Ryan got to have a ride on his moped.

We are still waiting for his license to arrive so he still can't ride it freely on the road just yet. Good news for all members of the public.

So here we are, 2010.

2010-01-12T21:21:00.001Z

I just typed up a huge catch up blog post with loads of pictures, it saved it as a draft at least 8 times, and now it's gone...grrrr! I'll try again tomorrow. >:(

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T23:56:00.001Z

I hope everyone has an enjoyable day surrounded by the people they love.

White Christmas...

2009-12-19T01:09:00.002Z

...do you think we might get one? It would be nice to actually have a Christmas Day that matched the pictures on the cards we send out. We had a lovely heavy snow storm, complete with thundersnow(my favourite!) last night, which meant I had a day off work as the kids school was closed. They were dressed and out in it by 8am. If only they could get ready for school that quickly and keenly?

Almost ready for the big, manic day here, even if we have left everything to the last minute. I only started shopping this week, and I had an essay due in, and we had Pete's birthday, so it's been pretty crazy. In the next few days I still have to go food shopping, visit my Dad, take Pete out for his birthday treat, take the kids to the indoor playcentre, collect Ryan's moped(though that'll be Pete rather than me, but I've organised it!), do a trip with work to the London Eye, get the turkey, AND I'm four dining chairs down for the Christmas dinner. Anyone got any spare?

We have a crawler

2009-12-02T20:37:00.004Z

This was us after getting soaked in torrential rain this morning. Look at the state of my hair!

After weeks of perfecting his skills, Kit has finally struck out and started crawling on his hands and knees today. He's been rocking for about a month, then he started doing a little inchworm shuffle last week, and he figured it out properly today at 8 months and one week old. The camera came out in celebration!

He's been terrorising the cats all day. Look how happy he is to be mobile!

Back to work

2009-11-28T22:32:00.004Z

I had my first two days back at the office this week, and it was okay.

Just okay.

Kit has decided that his already poor sleep patterns were not quite annoying enough, and has kept me up pretty much incessantly all week. I didn't want to leave him either really, he seems too little, but he was fine, and it is only two days a week.

The job has completely changed. It's horrible. All of the fun parts of the job are gone, my colleagues are still lovely, but the actual workload is awful, dull and unenjoyable. If I could take my coursework in and do that, I'd be happier. It's that desperate.

Speaking of coursework, I got a mark of 66% for the essay from hell, which is fine by me as I didn't even write my name on it(whoops), or add my references(duh!), and 40% is a pass, so I'm way over that.

Taylor is growing his hair at the moment, so I've just taken a photo to record the process. I've always had to shave it mega short as he has a cows lick at the front and a double crown which makes it stick up like a bog brush at the back, but just lately the texture(and colour!) has changed. It's gone brown, and got nice and silky, so he's growing it into a surfers shaggy hairstyle. It is already half way there, and so long compared to what he's used to;

Oh dear...

2009-11-24T10:30:00.001Z

...I have been a bad blogger. *hangs head in shame*

I've just been rushed off my feet, and it's about to get worse as I'm back to work on Thursday. I can't believe that 9 months has gone that quickly. Thursday morning is going to be fun. I have to do my cleaning job, get the kids all off to school, and get the bus to work for 8.30am. Not looking forward to that much! I've also started my gardening thing at the school, I spent 3 hours there last Thursday and had children from each class come ut and spend a bit of time with me. I was quite worried about keeping them occupied, but they all loved it. We planted strawberry runners, garlic, pulled up some chickweed and collected leaves.

I can't believe I didn't even do a Halloween post. Here is Isobel the zombie at her school disco;

My course this year is going to be a pain in the backside, I can just tell. I read through the first coursework book, went to the tutorial in London, found that the tutor confused me more than helped me, and set about writing my first essay. When I tried to send it in for marking the online system crashed, so I ended up handing it in late, which means the tutor doesn't have to mark it. I sent frantic emails to my tutor begging her to mark it, and she took ten days to reply. Thankfully she is going to mark it, but I've been in limbo really, worrying I'd failed before I'd even started due to technical issues. Loads of people have left the course as it's so boring!

Lots of work to do on this school garden

2009-10-22T19:52:00.005+01:00

I went to the garden for the first time today. The lady that has tended it for years retired last week, so now it's all down to me. *gulp* There is quite a lot there that I have no clue about growing. It has seven beds.

One and Two - An empty bed ready for some spuds next year and Runner Beans, Chard, Squash and Courgette;

Three and Four - Tomatoes and Chillis, and an awesome raspberry bush;

Five, Six and Seven - Wildflowers, more Beans, Pumpkin, Rhubarb(out of shot) and Strawberries;

I'm a bit scared of strawberries. They've never liked me much. They refuse to overwinter for me at home, instead deciding to die off. I have here a bed of very mature, wonderfully fruitful strawberry plants. Well at least they were until I got my hands on them. They were giving me the beady eye today, they're just waiting to die off, I just know it.

I started pulling up the strawberry runners, and have hundreds of the little bleeders. I bought a carrier bag home and still have literally billions. What the hell do I do now with a)the plants that are being left to overwinter, and b)the runners? Do the old plants in the ground need anything doing to them? I've just been taking out the old brown leaves and leaving the green ones, but is that right? The lady who left gave me a note to get me to remove the straw from between the plants, but I thought they needed that to protect them from the frosts? Does it need removing and replacing? Do the runners need to be in a cold frame/greenhouse, or can I plant them out too?

So many questions.

Seven Months

2009-10-22T19:30:00.004+01:00

Kit is seven months old now. He can say "mama" and "baba", is almost crawling, and gives the best sloppy kisses when you ask him to. He's adorable.

I've just been comparing pictures of Isobel and Christian. I got my first digital camera when Isobel was seven months old, so there was a sudden photo explosion. I don't have many of her before that time.

It's funny, they look really alike, until you look closer. She has Pete's round eyes, and Kit has my slanted ones. Isobel's are a grey/green and his are bright blue. She has Pete's mouth and smile, and Kit has my mouth but still has managed to inherit Pete's smile somehow.

She definitely had more hair!

Gahhhh!

2009-10-20T21:03:00.004+01:00

I just can't seem to get my coursework done tonight, everyone is distracting me.

My Mum bought a laptop from someone at work and it took me two hours to connect it to our wireless connection. For some bizarre reason, the anti-virus was stopping it from loading the page. Of course, it took me the two hours to figure this out, and I still don't know how I knew. We got the wireless connection sorted, but not the actual internet page. As soon as I uninstalled it, the internet came on, like magic. The baby has had me up and down like a yo-yo tonight too. As soon as I sit down he starts moaning. Little monkey.

Today has been an annoying day money-wise, as was yesterday. Pete was told on Thursday at our family dental check up that his dodgy tooth(he damaged it playing football 11 years ago), could be repaired for free. He went in to get the work done today, and they sneakily billed him £125 for the privilege. Of course, they waited until after the procedure to announce this fact. I had to put it on my credit card. I was not amused. Yesterday my work called, all chipper, to proudly announce that my course funding had come through, even though I've called them once a week for the last 6 weeks to frantically tell them that the very last day, that could not be extended any more, was the 10th of October. Idiots.

Lazy Sunday

2009-10-18T09:41:00.006+01:00

My course started last weekend, so I'm trying to get used to working on it any spare moment. I loved having the summer off, but am now finding it hard to get stuck in again. Thank goodness I didn't have to take a year off, I would never have started it again. The content is much, much harder this year. Just glancing through it I can see that. I hope I can do it. I am back to work in six weeks too, which I'm dreading a bit now.

Michael, Taylor's Dad, finally called me. I sent him a begging email weeks and weeks ago, telling him that Taylor was missing him, and he 'hadn't seen it until now', apparently. He's supposed to be seeing him next weekend, so we shall see.

Kit goes up on his hands and knees now, trying to crawl, so I'm sure it won't be long before we are frantically childproofing and stair gating. I'm thinking of getting the playpen out today for him, but it involves massive furniture rearranging missions that I can't be bothered to do. Our living room just isn't big enough for all the furniture.

We are having a nice lazy Sunday today. I'm about to put a lamb joint in and my Mum is taking the kids to the park so I can do my weekly ironing session in peace.

Hen Weekend

2009-10-18T09:17:00.004+01:00

Last weekend I was at Bognor Regis Butlins for my oldest friend Claire's Hen Weekend. It was an 80's weekend so we dressed and danced like a bunch of freaks for 4 days.

Claire meeting Roger, her companion for the weekend;

The wonderful beach. Wouldn't think it was October, would you?

Group shot on the first night, including the much-groped Roger;

I had a fab time, and loved being away from home and all the responsibility. I did miss everyone though, especially Pete. We've been attached at the hip the last 3 months, and have discovered we get on better when we are in each others pockets. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder in our case.

Eastbourne...

2009-10-04T21:14:00.007+01:00

...or Gods Waiting Room as it's fondly known by many, which the locals hate. Yes, the town popular with old ladies is hopefully going to be our new home.

Eek. After the senior school application worry, I casually mentioned to Pete that if Taylor got into one of the good schools I'd applied for in Essex, I'd be loathe to move away as I wouldn't want to move him, then I'd want Isobel to go there too(and then Kit would probably follow), which would mean we'd be stuck here for all eternity. It's always been on the cards that we'd move as soon as we could, so this idea that we'd have to stay even longer made us re-evaluate the plan, and we've decided if we are going to move we have to do it right now. We have got to try and do it before Ryan starts college and Taylor starts senior school next September. That gives us under a year to find me a job and a short-let flat, and get the boys into their respective new places. Pete, my Mum and the little'uns will follow us down a few months later when we've rented a bigger house. Once settled we'll be registering as foster carers. It's all really exciting.

We've just driven down this after noon to give the children a tour and get their opinions on it. We had a wander around the high street, and down the pier, and got ice creams, and it seemed to be a big hit. Anything is better than where we are now.

We stopped off in Brighton for chips, to show them our new glitzy neighbor, and they were pretty enthralled with that too. We adore Brighton, wouldn't want to live there full time as it's a bit mad, but how brilliant would it be having it a few miles down the road for shopping and nightlife? Now it's all resting on me finding work that pays me enough to relocate.

I must be mad

2009-10-01T21:48:00.003+01:00

Isobel brought home a letter this week asking for volunteers to take over the school vegetable garden. I've wanted to start a community garden project for ages and have been on the lookout for vacant plots of land, but never found anything. I went in and volunteered at the school on Tuesday, and handed in my CRB today, so should be able to start the gardening club in 6-8 weeks! I met the current volunteer today, she's been doing it for 7 years but is retiring next week, and it's a bleeding huge responsibility. Eeek. She's got stuff growing that I've never even looked at, and has seven massive raised beds. I can't work with the children yet, so as of next week it'll just be general maintenance and tidying up after school one day a week. I'm really excited but after looking at it today it's so, so daunting. I may have to kidnap my gardening friend Thursday with her horticultural qualification, I feel very under-qualified for the job.

Sunny September

2009-10-01T20:38:00.007+01:00

We've had a few days out, in between running hundreds of errands. How did we ever find the time to work fulltime? It seems impossible! The weather has been beautiful here. Hopefully it will stay that way for a few weeks yet. We took Kit to the seaside for a walk(and fish and chips for us);

Then last weekend we went to Thorndon Country Park to look for mushrooms. It hasn't really been wet enough here to find any great amounts, and there were no edible ones, but we did find a few. Isobel is getting good at spotting them for me.

A Fly Agaric with a few nibbles taken out of it;

Apart from our little day trips, it's all very manic here. We are decorating, well, my Mum is doing the majority. We are always running around ferrying kids, paying bills, buying food, posting Ebay stuff...my feet barely touch the ground. I have just painted some of the woodwork in the bathroom tonight though, so I am trying to fit some decorating in somewhere.

Kit has two little teeth now, but the emergence of said teeth has put him firmly off his food so we are back to square one with solids. He was having three small meals a day; porridge, yogurt, then either fruit or veg puree for tea, but now he has nothing. He has a little ulcer on the end of his tongue where he keep rubbing it over his teeth, bless him.

Here he is demolishing a rusk on one of his rare co-operative days;

Things happen for a reason

2009-09-26T13:51:00.002+01:00

My work still haven't contacted me about the funding, and they knew the cut off was Friday, so balls to them! I have now secured a loan through the OU, and will be paying for it myself. My cleaning job will pay for it. I think this possibly has happened for a reason, because it means that I am only tied to my job until October next year, just in time for us to hopefully move. We've decided we are going to try and get the house ready and get out of here before the older boys leave their respective schools. If we don't manage it then a least we tried. I like having a time frame for things. Hopefully we can get the majority of the decorating done by March/April.

We had a rather amusing phone call this week. Ryan's Mum left Pete with a lot of mortgage debts when they split, and she's changed her name lots of times to stop them catching up with her. She has now got a debt collection agency after her. We had the same one after us years ago, but we paid our dues.

We were forced to pay Pete's half of the debt when I was pregnant with Isobel 6 years ago, all my money for baby stuff went on paying it off, we really struggled as we were paying her £650 a month maintenance for Ryan at the time, plus this debt, we could barely eat and she didn't give a monkeys. She was spending our maintenance money on designer handbags and treadmills, and we were scrabbling down the back of the sofa for enough money to buy bread. Our electric used to go off the day before payday and we'd have to sit in the dark. We were seriously poor. But we paid it and got on with it.

She's just been bleating on the phone as she now has to pay £6000 and she thinks we've dobbed her in. We didn't, if we were going to we would've done it years ago when we were struggling. She has paid zero to us for Ryan since he's lived here-4 years, he's had pocket money off her for the last year and that's it. Divine retribution in action.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer person, really. She didn't even ask to speak to Ry when she called. Nice.

Still waiting

2009-09-18T11:55:00.004+01:00

I am still chasing and harassing my work about my course funding. I've had to call every day, and they are always all either on leave or in meetings, and they never call me back. I've managed to discover that my senior manager has agreed to pay for it, instead of training having to find it, but she is now taking forever to transfer the money across. I have to have the forms done and in the post by Wednesday as I've already had two extensions to the enrolment date. I don't hold out much hope. :( Expect much wailing and gnashing of teeth. If I don't do next year I just know I won't do the degree. If I lose momentum that'll be it.

In more miserable news, I sent Michael, Taylor's Dad, an email a week and a half ago practically begging him to come and see Taylor. He hasn't seen him for months and months, the last time was before the summer holidays, and his behaviour is starting to get bad because of it. He gets really angry with the world. Michael hasn't replied. Granted he might not have seen it yet, but I doubt it. I can't call him because he changed his mobile number and hasn't given me the privilege of his new one. Even better, Sian decided she wouldn't bother seeing Ryan this summer at all as it cost too much and was too far, then proceeded to visit London for the weekend where she could've easily met up with him for lunch or something(she lives 150 miles away, we are only 30 minute drive from London), but didn't bother. Words fail me sometimes.

Feeling a little helpless

2009-09-13T19:27:00.006+01:00

I've gotten myself into a bit of a predicament with a friend. Last year my friend C and I made friends with another woman with children in the local school. We all started having coffee together, and got quite close. When I had Christian they really rallied around me and helped me out. When I had revision to do earlier this year, it was these friends who picked Isobel up for me so I could study. They've both been bloody good friends.

In May, the other friend, T, left her violent partner and went to a women's refuge. Unfortunately she continued to see him behind the authorities backs, got caught out seeing him on more than one occasion, and was whisked off to a town 20 miles away to protect her children. She then stupidly continued to see him, and now has care plans in place and core group meetings with Social Services being held about the children's welfare. She decided she'd like the ride to stop and came back to her original empty house this weekend, but once Social Services are involved you can't just tell them to go away. I popped round there today and she gave me the minutes of the Core Group meeting to have a read through, detailing the case against them, and she is totally oblivious to what is about to happen. Both of us have tried to tell her that she is about to lose her children over this, but she won't have it. She is still seeing him, and refuses to stop. She's walked away from the second refuge 20 miles away and come back here to him, expecting them to just let this drop. She is having another baby in a few months too, and at this rate will be handing it over at the hospital.

I called a friend in the know tonight for advice, which was a pretty cool thing for her to do for me as we've only spoken online before, and she's helped me get my head straight. I'm going back round to T's tomorrow for a cuppa so it's my last chance to lay it all on the line for her. I think Pete thinks I'm mad for trying to talk sense into her, but I wouldn't be a very good friend if I just stood back and let it all happen. I'm pretty sure she is beyond help, this situation is way too complex for me to deal with, but I have to give it one last try before they swoop in and take her children away.

It's such a stupid situation to get yourself in. :(

Contented

2009-09-13T09:04:00.006+01:00

I can't explain why really, but family life seems really settled right now. I think having them back in school helps. I know we have money issues, and I'm worrying about my degree sponsorship, but the kids are all doing really well and behaving themselves and Pete and I get lots of time together.

Ryan seems to have turned a corner behaviour wise. Taking his Xbox away for a couple of months earlier on in the summer was the best thing we ever did. He went mental to start with to try and get us to give in, but we can be really tough parents(which I'm sure the kids hate), and he seems to have given up fighting us. We don't get much rudeness, laziness, self-entitled attitude or horrible behaviour from him now, he's actually quite pleasant to have around. It's like we have broken in a wild horse!

I really enjoy watching them grow up, especially the older boys. Ryan took Taylor to watch a football match on their own at Southend FC this week, and I love seeing them have a little bit of independence away from home. I get a lot of joy out of having older kids, and talking about 'grown-up' stuff with them, like careers and college. Ryan isn't 100% sure what he wants to do, but thinks he will do A Level Business and Media at college. Taylor wants to do Motor Sport Engineering, and he's pretty committed to that, but I wouldn't be surprised if he changed his mind. He has 6 years of school left yet, but we always knew he'd do something like that. He's good with his hands. He's very good at technical drawings too so I'm encouraging him to think about car design as another option. Isobel likes to join in with the conversation and her career aspirations have been known to change daily, and have ranged from a teacher, to a zookeeper, to the lofty heights of an ice cream lady.

Kit has really changed mentally and physically this week. He's having a massive growth spurt and will not stop eating and drinking. He is starting to want entertaining, and you can see the little cogs in his brain whirring round trying to figure stuff out. He's got very grabby, has to touch everything, most of which then goes in his mouth for a little taste...even grass!

He is seriously adorable and so cuddly. His hair has sprouted this week too, not that you can see it, he still looks like a little cue-ball from a distance. I think he's going to be white blonde like Taylor was at that age. I sometimes wish he wasn't so easy to look after as I know I'll end up broody...again! No more babies for me though. It would be easier if he was a pain and a little more off putting.

Upset

2009-09-08T15:48:00.003+01:00

I am so upset with my work. They have had my sponsorship forms to enrol on year two of my degree for over a month now. I've called four times to get them to sign it off, the final date came and went and I've managed to get two extensions from the university, people never call me back when they say they will...it's getting very frustrating. I finally got an answer today; it's been signed but now they have run out of money! So that's the end of that then. :( The training budget has all gone. They are trying to find funding elsewhere for me, but you just know I'll get a call next week giving me bad news. I can't believe it.

Senior School

2009-09-07T22:05:00.002+01:00

I'm not a worrier by nature and normally make quick decisions about things, but this Senior School Application for Taylor is doing my head in and keeping me awake at night. Parenting older children is so hard.

Taylor is doing really well in primary school, especially as we always expected average at best for him and the teachers/doctors thought he had Aspergers. He has matured massively since turning 8 and is doing really well now. He is above average in his maths/english and has been picked out as being gifted in art. He knows what he wants to do with his life(motor sport engineer) and is massively committed to that goal(unlike Ryan - he hasn't got a clue!) He is still a bit of a clown at times, lacks concentration, and is niave and easily led. This is where my concerns lie with sending him to a rough school with poor GCSE attainment.

My choices are three out-of-catchment schools with over-subscription; a catholic school which has always had plenty of spaces until this year and is now over-subscribed(seems everyone just realised it was a good school); or the school over the road that is dire and has about a 12% pass rate at GCSE.

Pete thinks I should just send him to the school that Ryan goes to(none of the above), but I don't think they'll push Taylor enough and it is almost 4 miles away and a pig to get to. Ryan is naturally clever, but lazy, and would've passed his GCSE's no matter where he went. Taylor is not naturally as clever, but is hard working when pushed and would definitely do better at a different school.

I've never had to do this year 6 thing before as Ryan was a mid-year application. Shall I just put down the three out-of-catchments schools, then the Catholic school, and hope for the best? I'm terrified they are going to make me send him over the road to the crappy one.

Can someone please come and do it for me?

Thorpe Park

2009-08-31T15:54:00.006+01:00

Thanks to my lovely in-laws we had a trip out for the day to Thorpe Park on Saturday. They sent us some money specifically to take them out for the day, and seeing as it was something we'd promised but were struggling to fund it was perfect!

We had such a good day. I used to love theme parks and rides, but I seem to have lost my nerve in the last few years. It's age creeping up on me I suppose. Pete, Taylor and Ryan went on Saw as soon as we got there, which was probably a good thing as it was pretty horrific. I don't think we would've got Taylor or Pete on it if they'd had time to think about it too much. Ryan wouldn't have cared, he'll go on anything. While they were in the 90 minute queue for Saw, I took Isobel on the log flume, which she hated with a passion even though she'd been on similar at Legoland last year and was fine. Seems I'm not the only one who has lost their nerve.

I normally get bored and want to go home by tea time, but the queues got smaller and we got to go on stuff twice as the day wore on, so we stayed until 7.30pm. The best roller coaster there for me was Colossus, it was amazing!

Exam results

2009-08-28T18:18:00.003+01:00

Ryan sat some early GCSE's in June, in Maths and English. He still has a year left of school, but taking some of the exams early takes the pressure off. If they fail they then have a year to resit them. We collected his results yesterday and he got C's for both. We are so pleased for him!

New Photos

2009-08-21T13:16:00.002+01:00

I took these this week. It's nice to have another little person to photograph!

Hmmm...I wonder what these taste like?

Boo!

Holidays nearly over

2009-08-20T21:38:00.006+01:00

We took the kids for a picnic to Hadleigh Farm last week, where it proceeded to rain on and off all day and was bloody freezing.

August. Greyer and more miserable than January.

Isobel had a donkey ride. Her donkey was called Joseph, and was a grumpy little bugger. He had a fight with another donkey while Isobel and another child clung on for dear life.

The farm sells the obligatory bags of animal feed for you to wander round with. The only problem was the farm was so rammed with visitors that by the afternoon all the animals looked at you in disgust when you presented them with yet another handful of stinking sheep pellets. You could just tell from the desperation in their eyes that they'd much rather have some of your picnic. Maybe a jam doughnut, or scotch egg.

We also had a lovely day out to Grays Beach on Wednesday, which isn't really a beach(it is on the Thames-don't swim in it, it's grim!), but has an amazing sandy playground and water fountain park, bouncy castle and go-karts. I can't believe that we haven't been before. We were there literally all day. It also has this really bizarre setting, like being on holiday, but with huge industrial buildings looming over you.

Even better, it was about thirty degrees yesterday, so we didn't get rained on for a change.

Ryan is now not going to his Mums. After weeks of messing him about, she calls and says she would rather send him the money she would've spent on travelling to get him/get him to her, which was £70. Fine, she's still saving herself hundreds of pounds by not having to feed him or entertain him for a week, so everyone is a winner. Except, she has let him down again and instead of the promised £70, only given him £20. He was planning on saving that to put towards his moped insurance at Christmas.

I've had a good day today. We decided about two weeks ago that I was probably going to have to get a second job to up my hours, and also go back to my main job early. I really didn't want to have to put Kit into childcare, or get Isobel picked up from school by someone else, so I'm really happy that Pete will be at home with the kids. That is worth its weight in gold as far as I'm concerned. He was home with Isobel a few days week for two years and they are so close because of it. I had an interview for a little second job today, cleaning a doctors surgery, and they called me this afternoon to offer me it!

We have some big decisions to make this year about Taylor's senior school, as we have to choose in a few months. The school I wanted him to go to has been under subscribed for years, but it looks like this year everyone else has had the same idea as us and they were fully subscribed. He'll never get in as baptised Catholics get first refusal. Our local schools only have a 20-30% pass rate at GCSE, which won't do Taylor any favours really. He's a good learner IF he is taught, leaving him to get on with it means he will learn nothing. He will do well if he's pushed, he learns easily. Ryan's senior school isn't great for setting e extra work, or even homework, or getting them to do the coursework, hence the 30% pass rate. This has been not so bad for Ryan, who is naturally clever(but lazy with it!), he'll probably do OK in his exams regardless, but Taylor wouldn't. Not sure what to do really. I think we are going to have to either try our hardest to move, or accept that he isn't going to do very well. How on earth will we be able to move in time? It's not an option really. Bugger.

Useless parents

2009-08-15T13:16:00.002+01:00

I know very well that I should be used to this mess after all these years, and shouldn't get annoyed by it, but sometimes Ryan's mum does something so bloody ridiculous I can't help but get into a rage. Most of the time we just laugh at her, including Ryan.

When Ryan was living with her Pete payed £600 a month maintenance. He's been with us 4 years now and we've never had a single penny from her. She has been giving Ryan erratic pocket money for a year.

As Pete is out of work we've been in touch with all the usual benefits people, income support etc. to see what we can get help with, and they are pushing us to get maintenance from her. If we don't claim it from her they will. So, Pete called her up and explained to her what was going on. Her first reaction? "Can't Claire support you all. Can't she pay for Ryan?". The cheek of the woman!! Then she said "Can't Claire's family help you out?" I am still in shock four days later that she can't hear herself, and can't see how pathetic that is. She gave birth to the child, she should at least be a little bit concerned that we are struggling to put food on the table!

She has agreed to give us a hilariously small amount, and carry on giving Ryan a smaller amount too, but has refused to set up a direct debit, so we'll probably get it when she feels like it, just like she does with his pocket money. She even said "Aren't I good paying you this money?". Err, no, he is YOURS after all.

Even more annoyingly, she is really stringing Ryan along about when he can come and stay. She won't make any firm plans, said he could go next Monday and she'd call him to make arrangements last night, she didn't, it's now Saturday lunchtime and still no call. He says if he can't go on Monday he won't bother as he doesn't want to go for the last week of the holidays. When he tells her that she'll go bananas at him.

What is wrong with these absent parents? Michael hasn't even bothered to call Taylor either. He will have a stroppy phone call winging it's way to him from me very soon, which I never do. *shakes head*

Summer holidays on a budget

2009-08-12T19:32:00.005+01:00

Trying to find things to do as a family that don't cost the earth is a nightmare. With only one wage coming in it's been even harder than usual this year. It's important that the children feel like they've done things over the summer break. We are a very experience driven family, rather than possession driven, and I want them to have fun memories of their childhood. It doesn't help when the weather is so unpredictable either. We went swimming last week and met up with friends, you only got an hour time slot in the pool due to it being overcrowded, and it cost us £15. Luckily we had packed picnics and we went to one of my childhood haunts afterwards, The Splash, which is FREE!

The water is bloody freezing!

This is where it gets it's name from:

Playing pooh sticks on the bridge:

Taylor fell in about 30 seconds later. He always falls in.

Isobel went in too. She was distracted by a galloping Labrador that was passing by through the river and lost her balance. She was not amused and refused to let me take her picture from that point on.

Learning to ride a bike

2009-08-09T22:03:00.003+01:00

My Mum is the family expert at teaching children to ride bikes, I haven't got the patience and there is definitely a knack to it. She taught Isobel this week, and within two days she was whizzing around like a pro.

She can even do corners!

Punk Rock Taylor! I cut his hair into a Mohican for the school holidays.

No hands!

Highs and lows

2009-08-06T10:06:00.005+01:00

Firstly, the good news. I just had my course result through, literally two minutes ago, and I got a distinction. I can't believe it. I knew I'd done well with the coursework, I had an overall mark of 80% for that, but the lack of sleep around exam time meant I wasn't so confident about the exam. Well, I only bloody got 80% for that too! I am so chuffed I could spontaneously combust at any moment. Now I just need to sort out next year, I have been a bit slack about filling forms in and am cutting it fine. I have to be registered by the 24th of August.

The bad news, my Mum called on Tuesday to give me the wonderful news that she has lost her house. She hasn't been able to pay her bills since I left home at 16 really, it's been an ongoing battle that we've rescued her from more than once. We've scraped together thousands before for her to keep the wolf from the door, as have a few of her friends, but she didn't even bother to ask this time and has given up. The dreaded bingo websites have a large part to play in this too as she wastes so much money on them. Isn't it funny that you can come from a long line of amateur gamblers, but have no inclination to bet yourself? It's never interested me at all. I'll have a little flutter at the dogs, but I walk away when I'm up. Gamblers don't know how to do that, do they? Anyway, in about 15 minutes the bailiffs will be locking her out of my childhood home for good. I get very sentimentally attached to buildings and places so this is more of a wrench for me than it is for her. She seems relieved to be honest. I was walking around yesterday thinking "That's where my bed used to be, where I sat up all those nights screaming with laughter with my best friend Clairebear as a teenager", or "There is the squeaky floorboard that I used to have to avoid when I was sneaking out late". I went around taking pictures of it all being cleared yesterday. It is very sad, and poor Taylor really cried. It was his home once too and he's a sensitive soul.

Some of my artwork in my old childhood bedroom;

Howard

2009-08-02T14:31:00.002+01:00

I've made this little dude to send to a friend in the post along with some goodies to cheer her up. Isobel chose his name!